Pleasure in a world without pain will drive a man insane, just as darkness in a place with no light will still seem kind of bright

Lately I've been learning some very important truths.
I've learned that you don't always need proof,
Just believe in what makes sense to you.
Everybody's entitled to their own point of view,
But make sure you stand by the truth you choose

Oh cast away eyes, how much of me can you see today
Oh volcanic heart, how quickly will you burn me away
Oh contemptuous course, how far will you allow me to stray
Oh shallow songs, how many more must you make me play

Maybe this is it
Maybe this is the end result of cancer
Or perhaps its the price i pay for my platitudes and piously proclaimed prideful professions
In guilt i am swallowed whole by the taste i wish to savor, those who know solution, that should save anyone other than those who place praise in the credence to which we are born able and in place of.
Aquarium where you try to swim
Too full of liquid
Not enough air to breathe
None but the unconscious would even dare

It's hard to feel whole when the hand that you want to hold until you grow old decides that it would rather be cold than to take on the burden of loving your soul

I've been caught flat footed before but I always got away
When I opened my mouth I always had the right words to say
But now I've been found with my feet shoved down my throat
I have nothing to speak and I have no way to let go
of the skin I've been nibbling on so thoroughly
This flesh may rot inside but it does not sicken me
I have long since learned to suffer the taste of what you see

Sometimes this love develops a bitter taste, and it becomes a pretty tough pill to swallow, but I'm here looking to overdose and reach a higher place, so I'll open my mouth and choke down the whole ******* bottle

There is a tension running through my veins today. The blood inside them feels thicker than my skin, and the seals that hold it together are struggling to keep me in.

We all need someone we can speak truthfully to, an open ear to hear whatever it is that we're going through. And yet the sad thing is, I don't think anyone could deal with the words that I so often sift through.

Look at my lying like a dead deer on the side of the road, got hit by a metal monster rushing to get where he wants to go. Now all you machines with rubber wheels for feet, just roll on by, don't look at me. Here I'll stay for a month or two til mother nature has her way with me. The rain will fall and bloat up my corpse, then I'll wash away as it continues to pour.

Drugs are fun
At least that's what they tell me
As I sit here with blood in my nose nose while choking on combusted crystal fumes, I think to myself, "what the **** are you doing, what's wrong with you?" Then I smile, laugh and reply to myself, "I'm too ******* high to give a **** about you"

Sick of being told what's wrong and what's right
Tired of sleeping soundly every night
Bored of having to always keep up the fight
Frustrated with everything that is my life

A moment alone
I feel so at home
Same old thoughts waiting by the fire
Same wasted future ready to expire
I'll meet them in midnight glow
Can't let anybody but you know

You go on with big brown eyes
Seeing the shadow hiding in every ray of day
You always find where every rainbow ends in the sky
And only recognize the frowns you cross in town

It's time for us to go, wake everybody up
We're gonna touch the sun, together all as one
With pairs of wings that wont succumb to the tremendous heat, we will leave troubled lives behind as we lift off from the ground under our feet
And with a little bit of luck, we'll find our bodies and souls reborn
It'll make brilliant pheonixes of us all, by causing birth from death once more

I've got you in my sights, way high flying through wide open skies
You and I are all alone up here, dancing around dangerously in the stratosphere
Dare I pull this trigger and take you down?
If I do I promise, I'll beat you to the ground

You took me out of the sea and then taught me to breathe oxygen without water and then questioned me for falling for the only daughter of those who believed that praying to god would grant them relief from the impending slaughter that they signed up for in order to see the true path that lies beneath each brother and sister no matter how strong we build our resistors

I feel torn between blaming and hating myself for every negative thing you said about me that I believe is true, and wanting to blame and hate you for making me feel worthless and like I can never be good enough for you. I know well enough that I shouldn't be thinking about it so negatively or so black/white, but with all the stress and anxiety I've felt from this I've had a very hard time keeping my mind open to positivity or possibilities, and it's begun spilling out of my head and into the rest of my life.

Freaking out over future plans.
Failing to grasp things with my hands.
I dropped the ball into the Atlantic ocean,
hoping it'd make a sick explosion,
but it just sank to the bottom of the sea.
What the **** is wrong with me?

You'll never find what you're looking for
If you keep your eyes looking at the floor
It's always been in front of your face
But you're always looking in a different place

I think i lost my talent for explaining what im holding
*** i cant find the words though theyre right in front of me
Im blinded by the feelings that i let get ahold of me
And i dont know what to do when it comes to me and you

Ive been on my own and working on my health
Peace of mind is what im seeking but i still need help
*** im feel like im still in the same place as where i fell
And im wondering if its any different from my old hell

Everything feels like, i dont know
Everyone one i see still wants to go
Away from me and i dont blame them none
I can see now i havent even passed step one

Remember all the weeks that we'd spend holed up in my house
Just a couple of thieves hiding out from the cops
We had a couple of things and I thought that I had you and I thought that you had me
But then you blamed me for taking the same things from you that I caught you taking from me
I was only picking up all the feelings you left lying on the ground
I tried to hide it but I could tell you knew even though I never made a single sound
Red handed, I tried to touch your face
But you just pushed me out the way and left me believing I was to blame
Because you knew the time had come and just outside the police were surrounding the place

You got away
I told them I made you do it
I could never rat you out
Even though you left me standing there while they came in to take us down

Now I'm serving my time, and I tried to write you once or twice even though I dont expect that you'll reply
I've got a few more years in here I think, and It's gonna give me the time that I think I'll need to sort you out of my mind
And I hope you always get away from the police, and I hope you always get whatever help you need, but I pray that when the day comes and I get free, I pray that you will stay away from me

I was told when I was young there's a little devil in everyone
You can't spit him out
You can't dry him up
Anything that you can try will only make him blink his eyes, And you'll **** yourself before he goes blind

The world I know does not exist, when you are by my side
It's replaced by a place of wonder, where smiles don't need to hide
A land of entrancing dancing, with the shaking of our souls
When we grab hold of each other, everything surrounding us lets go

*I just want to flow
In the place that I know
The sun always shows

I just need to breathe
In the place that can be
Only you next to me

I do not
Like being ignored or forgotten
I do not
Like being alone or bored
I do not
Like being

Im all about that sweet decline,  when nothing's right but i feel just fine
I know how pathetic it is, the life that i have tried to live
Excuse for this
Excuse for that
Its a wonder that ive made it past
12 bottles on the table
Turned to 17
And 24 still somehow able
But will i last til 27
Or come up short of the group in heaven
I dont know how much farther ill go
Self destruction is all i know

This is the place where we fall apart, standing over the cliff with hearts in hand, making the leap to the promised land. This is the place where we swallow the dark, never to play broken parts ever again, I'm sorry I brought you here my friend

I mess up on purpose because I don't know natural movement.

I can't trust anybody with anything I feel, if I do I might be wrong.

So I'd rather be fake and aware of my isolating intensity.

I'd destroy my world if you'd just go down on me.

I feel it growing
Between us it's starting to
We need to go now

I hate who I am and can't stand what I've been, but not a single one of us can live without sin

A million conversations all in my head
A million chances to be better off dead
Yet every time I've chosen the safety of silence instead

She is the earth, the moon, the planets, and the stars
And when I sit alone with her side by side in my car
I can feel for once that heaven isn't very far

The solitary sink where my soul can swim
The single state I can survive in
The remote reason for me to roam
The ringing reality I reap from home
The fleeting feeling of forgotten feasts
The frantic results of frivolous feats

Boredom may drive you to some scary places
Where ignorance hides behind all of our faces
What we ignore is everything we fear
Don't ask me why, I don't know how I got here

I haven't showered for seventy two hours, it's been three days since you put me in my place again
And I don't want to believe that just like Jesus Christ, today's the day that I'm supposed to rise again.

There's this man
He lives in the confines of my heart
And he's been trying for years to find a way to make it stop
He just wants to sleep, but the beat never drops
And the beatings never stop, because I won't let him go to bed
I'd rather keep him up and make him fight with the child inside my head

You have to be strong, because even the darkest terror that you've ever seen is but to her just another harmless dream stacked against the nightmare that her whole life has been.

Like substance I abuse you.
I crave you.
There's nothing I won't do,
For a taste
Of my next big mistake
With your face

I hate everything that these words have come to represent, all the things I refuse to do and all that I pretend

Yes I can write all about how badly I want this and that, but once my desires try to leave the page I stab them in the back

Never have I tried to tame the hell that I create, I only wait and watch as nothing changes and I stay the same

Any thought that might distract me from my quiet sulking act, pushed aside by the fears I've been feeding and letting grow fat

Every day I leave marks upon the skin of my note pads, keeping track of all the cracks in my conscience and all the dreams I wish I had

There lie some truths inside my mind that I won't dare to ever spill, because if I were to read what I would write it would make them real

A thousand times I'd said I'd try
A thousand times I simply lied

I'm sorry
If my words
Have not been what you want to hear
But I'm not sorry
If my words
Have reminded you of your own fear

It will snake
Its way back
Into my head
Before i know
I'll be dead
Replaced by it
I will not change
I will degrade
All the way
Into my grave
Where my bones
Will feed the same
Bugs and dirt
From which I came

I want to know where feelings go when they die
If they cease to exist, or if they were never more real than you or I
I wonder if those feelings don't dissipate at all, but fade and lie in wait for another day
Lying dormant, trampled like a doormat
All other emotions have right of way
Everything trying to escape
All I want is to stay
Just for once I want to feel
I want to know that its real
If I could just feel once more
To know if love can be reborn

I wish I could join you there in a dream, though I'm sure you don't know what I mean, but here I lie with wide restless eyes, trying to keep it all inside, and I'm sweating slightly with a little shake.

You make me feel so awake

It's my constant conscious consideration that I don't want a cataclysmic complication, but this constant intoxication is a writhing indication that I have already let all the bricks fall right off the wall

Ring goes the bell, triggering my mind
Ring goes the bell, moving down the line
Motions exploding, emotions corroding
Mountains crumble, elephants stumble
Breaking down, all the same
Breaking down, push them away
Can't fake it
can't take it
Wasting my time
Waiting in line
Ring goes the bell, every thirty seconds
Ring goes the bell, the voice always beckons

There's a storm brewing within every single molecule of my skin

And pyres scorching blindingly bright behind each of my eyes

There's a tornado ripping across and pulling up every inch of my inner guts

And there's an explosion that's about to start planted deep under the hole of my heart

The demons that used to dissolve in alcohol have learned to hold their shape, and the terrors that used to tremble in smoke have learned to stand their ground, and the evils that used to evaporate in your presence have learned to keep you away

I wish I could meet you
But I'm too afraid
If I could see you
You'd still go away
I should have called you
But I couldn't try
If I could hear you
You'd still say goodbye
I wish I could hold you
But my heart says no
If I got to have you
You'd still choose to go