Thoughts like insects,
Six legged sadness carriers.
I bash my head against the wall,
To hear them pop and splatter.

Nobody's perfect, but I am so much less than the rest

You're better off on your own
With no one to bust your pieces
As you try to fix your home

I don't think that you're welcome here.
So if there's anything I can do
to make it more clear,
let me know so I can
help you disappear.

Why is it we don't want to be alone
Yet we curse and reject those waiting for us at home
Why is it we want to live free
Yet we pay for the fruit hanging from the trees
Why is it so
I don't know
We live lives of senseless contradiction
Never are we happy yet we accept our position
Its as if we don't know what we need
So we'll live our lives while our hearts bleed

They say they know what you want, but I know what you need. They want to steal your heart,  and I bet they'll make you bleed. You don't have to stay, and if you choose to leave with me,  I'll give you everything, and I'll never leave your side. You will be my queen, and you will pay no price, because all my love is free, and it will last for your whole life.

There's no escape from the ideas inside of my head and there's no avoiding the thoughts that I'm trying to forget

I spend every penny like all the late lonely hours awake; wasting away wasted every single dollar day

You'd be better off leaving me for dead, because nobody can kick the voices from my head. They sit inside with chains tied to my throat and my brain, and anytime I try to pull away, they drag me back and hold me to the pain

I'm sitting in my place of seclusion near the old battered bridge, listening to anything and everything but what my mind is trying to say. The waves were too quiet so I turned on the music, and the speakers couldn't play loud enough to drown out the sound of machinery endlessly struggling to produce an answer inside my head. I could scream and drown it out, but I know that with nobody else to hear my attempts would simply fall upon my own tone deaf ears, and I've grown sick and tired of screeching out the same old lines over and over hoping each time to find new meaning behind the words that have always failed to grease my mechanisms and get them moving again.

Half is better than none
But I can't settle for less than whole
Half is still less than all
So I guess I'm selfish
I don't want to need this much
But I need more than what you say is enough

I feel the need to write but don't know what to say
It seems there are things that have gotten in the way
The freedom I once felt has completely disappeared
And the loss I feel is greater than any I ever feared

She hates the way I say I'll do something and then prove myself wrong by doing nothing at all

She doesn't like how I can be so inconsistent in my approach to everything but it's my fault

She can't stand it when I sit back and let myself get tossed around by my need to answer paranoias call

I'm on a roll
Alienating everyone i know and need
Ive got a streak
Of something cold and quite mean
I'll be forgiven
But the sins won't be forgotten
I'll be cleansed
But always smell of something rotten

If you come over
I'll clutch my rabbits foot and my four leaf clover
I'll throw a pinch of salt over my shoulder
Then break my leg ten times over
And if I generate enough good luck
You'll actually want me enough to ****

If she was poison, I'd die trying to convince her she was wine

I want to start this off with a few choice words.
I could make them sweet, but that's more than you deserve,
and I would make hem kind, but I believe they should hurt,
like when you told me, "This thing between us isn't going to work".
I thought that I lost it, I couldn't believe what I heard.
After all that I gave you, it was my name that you cursed.

I was scared of what I felt, but I know you were too

You're afraid of dying alone
with no one there to hold your bones
And I'm afraid of what I'll never know
Like how far we could really go
Because I'm making progress, but I'm much too slow
I don't think I'll reach you before it's your time to go.

I just want to feel
Rain on my face
Cold under my clothes
A hand in mine
Will you feel me
Or can it only
Be a dream

This room is too loud
I'm not trying to meet all these people right now
I'd rather be outside sitting cold on the ground
Just go away, strange angers my brain range

I can barely breathe when they surround me

I cant stop going back to all the things that i know wont work
I forsake the lessons ive learned in the hopes that things will be different this time
But it's always the same
Drunk or high
It won't help me remember how to fly
Ive forgotten how to use my wings
And how to use my voice to sing
The melodies that used to pick me up and dance in my head have found their way to playing on the brighter stages with new friends
Its all been lost to the passage of time and if this is all that ive got left i see no reason not to die
Empty chrouses and a cacophony of silent applauses
Vacant seats and dead vibrations in the air
There will be no break for intermission
This show goes on hold for no one
With a decaying babckbeat for none to hear
And a drowning melody that will flood your ears
You will soon learn that theres no method to the madness
Its just a pouring out of all the things that make up sadness

We wear costumes of self control, with masks made of deception to conceal our intention. As a method of prevention, we slip into our inventions, inverting ourselves to protect the hearts we won't mention. Our sleeves will be washed clean so that no one will see how much we've had to bleed just to believe that we deserve a dream just as much as the soul who doesn't have to hide in a hole covered with dirt. Our only message to the world is written out on wooden boards sticking out of the ground above the patches where our bodies can be found, and they read:

"This is all I can let you see because I don't like what you want me to be, and I'd rather die here alone than tell you to leave, because someone you want is all I ever wanted to be."

I had a dream that you called me the other day
You left me a message saying everything would be ok
I'm sorry I missed your call, I blame it on fate
It's never my fault, something always makes me late
I tell a lot of half truths, and I tell bold faced lies
It's up to you to decide where to draw that imaginary line
I don't mean to be me, I blame it on the medicine
Its done a lot to calm me down, but it exacerbates my sins
I can't focus on the ground, I still like to walk on clouds
There seems to be no other way, I'll remain broken until the grave

I miss you
And it hurts a lot
I'd go back to then
But I forgot how
Now so distant
Your hands from mine
I hold them out
But can't catch you in time
Pulling away
I walk out
Into the cold
All alone

You're too afraid to take a single step out  towards your desire, because last time you tried you failed and got burnt by the fire. So you carry pails of water to extinguish every flame, and you'd be a liar if you said you weren't to blame for the darkened world that you have claimed

Why do I feel
There's no reason for me to
All it does is cause me to continually chase after that which I cannot control
I want to think
As i have plenty of reason to
But not a single act of glory has been salvaged from the endless war between yes and no

This hollow island on the eastern coast holds no secrets or suprises. All we have are long beaches, some highways, fishermen and sunrises.

Riding down the highway, heading to your heart
There was a nasty accident, a ten car pile up
Now I'm running late, and you no longer want to wait

If you really loved me then
You'd still love me now
You'd do anything to make it work
It wouldn't matter how
You'd give all that you have
Because I'd do the same
But since you cannot
I know who's to blame

Lately my atoms have been scrambling to hold the shape of the person you've all come to know so well

What could be so wrong with me that I see a piece of me inside of you when you do all those wicked things you do?

Its incredible what you can find when you reach out with closed eyes
And Its astounding what you can start when you touch another's heart
And so amazing are the places you'll see when you take a break from memory
And if you can let your love flow free you'll have everything you'll ever need

You are
I am
He is
They are
She is
We are
Everything
At once

Sometimes I think what I say isn't what I mean
But I don't know the difference
I've got such a messy head
And I'm too worried about how to clean it best
I spend hours plotting how I'll find the motivation to move
But there's always a disruption once I get my groove
I say I want my freedom but I don't know what that means
Is it really freedom if you don't even know how to be
And I act like I'm too good for anyone and that they all sicken me
But the truth to that is that without them I wouldn't want to breathe

I want to forget right now
I want to let go of everything
I don't want to talk to you and i don't want to hear you sing
Another song about how you can't find love and how the world just *****
I'm so sick of your misery
And the way that you never see
The damage your choices inflict on me

I think I might have broken someones heart, and I don't think I care, but she keeps calling, and it sounds like she's falling apart.

Then when I don't answer I'm left long with winded messages filled with apologies, and the pathetic pattering of her brains attempt to produce and procure the words she thinks will make me see her true worth.

Yes I know you think I hate you, you've said it a thousand times. And im aware you think you're broken, and honestly I agree. You need some help, you've gotta do it for yourself, because I can't ever love you back if you expect me to live in the hole where you fell.

You're the queen of the earth
Pristine person of dirt
I am the king of the sea
Suppose I have thoughts that are salty

I think your insides would look prettier on the outside, so
Lets take those intestines and tie them around your throat

Now it's time to open the stomach

Remove the kidneys, the spleen, and that ugly little thing you call a heart
But before we start with the hacking apart I want to tell you a secret
The surgeon is running a bit late, and I don't have the patience to sit here and wait, so if you don't mind if I do, I'm gonna rip into you and I'm sorry, but I forgot to bring you some glue, and by the time that I'm done you'll no longer be one, but a thousand little pieces floating around in your tub

Please step back into my light
My only wish is to set this right
Bruised and misused
You
Bored and confused
Me
Swirling and twirling straight into our end
We both let go but continued to pretend
Blaming the other for the average of our failure
I said she had abandoned me
She said I was wrong and just couldn't see
But what I heard was enough
She became the enemy
I continued spinning into a twister of hate
She went back to the ******* that she used to date
And yet we were still the same
Filled with feelings we can't tame
Nobody understands it if we try to explain
We shared a bond, fusing mutual pain

Let the monster free, he will not bring you harm. He's there to protect you, and he is your lucky charm. Break the chains you've been told that he needs. Relinquish you fear, and learn to let him be.

I don't feel like floating away today
But my feet refuse to to touch the ground
I need direction, a guide to hold my course
I want a weight to wrap my arms around
Anything at all to hold me down

Compromised
Pick a side
You can't stay
in between
Who you've been
and what you're
becoming

Back door
Waiting for
The one I'm sure
Won't be the cure
All these doubts
I want to deny
But here I am
Wanting to cry
I'm to weak
To ever be
Anything like
Her kind of guy

I'm so perfectly inprefect
There's nothing I can't **** up
Give me a fortune and I'll waste it in a day
I'll throw every penny away at the pinball arcade
I'll win just a free game when billions could have been made
Give me an icetray, and I'll show you how to **** up the task
The cubes won't be cubes, no they'll be burning piles of ash
I'm sorry but Billy won't have cold drinks at his birthday bash

Give me a life to live, and I'll live through it all wishing I did

My heart has beat for you long since yours stopped

What do I do about you
You, the one who  catches me off guard at every opportunity
And every time you give me the option of making a move I sit like a stool
You, the soul that I feel wired too, connecting through the dimensions, to comprehend the thoughtful demons, who
Command times true demise, you
The being who can see
I am not you
But part of me can be
If it is you
That sees what I see
In me and you
There is a bridge between

Why do you look to the sky?
There is no savior in the air, just comets coming to collect us all, and the hope in your eyes won't break their fall

Why do you look to the ground?
There is no shelter down there, just creatures coming to consume us all, and the prayers on your lips won't make them stall

I woke up this morning and got myself a beer
Turned on the tv to see a woman in heels selling fear
A pair of jokers are lying on the floor and i forgot to lock the door
I wonder if they'll find us before we head out to sail the shore
And i wonder if they'll save me from this place before im lost to the insane
I cant feel the skin that holds the bones that make up my frame
I can only feel the pain, guilt, and shame of never knowing peace again

Maybe this is it
Maybe this is the end result of cancer
Or perhaps its the price i pay for my platitudes and piously proclaimed prideful professions
In guilt i am swallowed whole by the taste i wish to savor, those who know solution, that should save anyone other than those who place praise in the credence to which we are born able and in place of.
Aquarium where you try to swim
Too full of liquid
Not enough air to breathe
None but the unconscious would even dare