You're like swimming in a lake filled with razor blades
A painful dive
So shallow and sharp with all those salty remarks
And I can't drown in you no matter how hard I try

If you're not getting what you want all you have to do is ask, and if you still don't get it you gotta decide whether or not you're better than that. Are you gonna stay without and pout about it, or do what you should and turn your back because you don't need that?

I need it to sleep
Every single day
I need it to think
In a more peaceful way
Oh it does
Take me away
But it doesn't **** the pain
That's here to stay

Without it I shiver
My chest gets tight
Without it I wonder
If I'll survive the night
Oh it does
Make me forget
I slip unconscious
Last thought regret

When I get it
Ill be ecstatic
On the inside
Always an addict
Oh it is
An incredible feeling
But its left me now
My heart has stopped beating

I come down from my last high and roll right into the next
I find places where I can hide but I never find no rest
I slip from my slumbers into hungry hornets' nests
And that sting, the sharp bleeding pain
Is the only thing left I crave

Self-worth is a word that I never had time to learn

Can you hear it
The motors hum
Working behind
The rising sun
And can you see
The bits of rust
On these machines
Built to move us
A golden age
Progress proclaimed
We can't stop
Til its too late
The suns a slave
To our own needs
We'll work it dry
We'll make it bleed
The lap of luxury
Where we sit
Is built upon
Blood stained brick

Why is it that every time I search myself for the words I need to use to make a good impression to someone else, I always slip, bite my lip, and choke upon the urge to quit? Why can't I take all theses phrases that I've scribbled out upon countless pages, turn them into words that if they ever could be heard would be powerful enough to even shake the birds? How many more times am I going to have to rehearse and curse to myself, just to get it though that I can be just like anybody else, and that I don't need to worry because I can be happy by myself? What's it gonna take to make me feel like I belong, that I'm not as lame as I think I am for always writing songs, that people can still love me even though I've done them wrong, and that me and anybody else could ever really get along? Why does it always feel like my world is about to implode, like my insides are always about to explode, that no matter who's around me I always feel alone, and that no matter what I do I will die unknown?

Do you remember when we used to fly
And we never thought that we would die
Before we fell from the sky
Do you remember you and I
Above the clouds we climbed and dipped
Never worrying that we would slip
Together we glided towards calm shores
Do you remember when I was yours

If you come over, I'll clutch my rabbits foot and my four leaf clover, I'll throw a pinch of salt over my shoulder then break my leg ten times over, and if I generate enough luck you'll pity me enough to ****

Its all fun and games til someone falls in love,
Its all fun and games til someone asks for more,
And suddenly the fun will stop.
You'll drift apart, the love will rot.
It'll fester in your chest, and when you've had enough you'll beg for death,
Because all the love that you have to give won't be enough to save you from this

Girl you make my skin crawl, like a bunch of worms squirming through dirt, you get underneath and eat where I hurt. Burrowing yourself deep inside, you turn yourself into butterflies, free in my stomach with no place to hide. Then up into my brain you will fly, lay your eggs behind my eyes, go out my mouth and let yourself die, knowing my future is with you in my mind

The sun is shining over all I see
There's a pleasant feeling falling over me
And though my mind still finds trouble soon I'll be set free
Set a course for the clouds amongst the cosmic sea
I'll find myself in a place of wonder atop the highest of trees
Nothing but space and time will be there to keep a hold of me

I take a look at how far we've come
And wonder why it ever took so long
Mountains were traversed
And oceans crossed
But still I feel
Somewhere we got lost
I don't know how
We got this far
But im willing to bet
We aren't done
Where we'll go
No one knows
But together we'll walk any bridge we cross
Because inside I know
Side by side is where we belong

Some people are like bombs, just waiting to go off
Waiting for that spark that's sure to set them off
Just dying to explode, their reasons sometimes unknown
Maybe they were made to blow, but some of them will never go
Lying dormant, no fire for the fuse
Waiting silently, just longing to be used

Another night spent all alone, no surprises there, and I'd bet my life that tomorrow will only bring me more despair, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but that's a pretty ****** thing to bring

******* future, you're just an infinite expanse of possibilities, but in every single one you feel the need to throw limitless misery at me.

The clock is ticking, oh wait it's not, it's been stopped for five months now. I guess the sounds are just engrained into my head, and I wonder if I'd still hear the voices if there really is a life after I'm dead.

What about tomorrow, when I'm feeling better?
When I find myself, sleeping calmly in the morning light?
What about when I've raised to my feet, and stretched my leash again?
When I can take steps outside, without being bothered by greener grasses than mine?
When I do finally get "well" as you say, will you be there, or will the wait be too long? Perhaps I just need to be what I am, and if you don't want me then so be it.
So I ask you to tell me, is this goodbye?

Dont be fooled, loyalty builds interest. Sometimes youll get paid your due the way good parents should teach their  children to do, but you'll also be prey to be played by those who pray for a generous and vulnerable soul to use

All around you tsunamis and earthquakes are taking and breaking anything they can touch, yet I find peace in you and your place beneath the sea, and the shine of hope you cast upon all the destruction that I see surrounding me.

One day I may have to leave this sanctuary and face all the awful things that you've protected me from having to believe, but I would gladly die fighting against the apocalypse, if it meant we could share one first and final kiss.

What do I need
Is it a verse, something romantic and clever
Or is it an epic, once in a lifetime endeavor
Would a simple, yet short and heartfelt confession do it
Or would the awkward silence break me, as I stare into your eyes knowing that I already knew it
I had a chance, but still I ******* blew it
Maybe its all in just being myself
But if its something special I could use a little help

Here I go again
Unable to abstain from sin
I lock myself within a box and never let anyone open it
I'm too tired to make another excuse
I'm too weak to put my skills to good use
All over once more
I forgot to build myself a door
I'm so tired of always being bored
Nobody would even want to i'm sure
I'll sit here and sink into the pit of my core
One more time
I look but cannot find
I've become displaced from my mind
I've left my body lying somewhere far behind
I can't return no matter how hard I try
Here I am again, nobody here but I

I can not quit
Caving in
Giving in
To familiar sin

I don't want you to be good, I just need you to be mine, because all I'm looking for is a place where I can let my darkness shine

Nothing ever feels so close to home like all alone
Nothing ever feels like home except for getting ******
I want to go back inside
I don't want to face the bright light of day
Don't get me wrong, I know it's not so bad
But everything was easier when nothing was all I had
This heart full of love is too heavy for me
This mind at peace is too steady for me to sleep
I miss the crashing waves of misery and fear
I miss the way I felt before I fell for you my dear

I should be home sleeping with you by my side
But I'm out here walking all through the night
I should be set on making you my wife
But I'm out here wasting all of my time
To settle for less,  I'm not impressed
You'll see my protection when I get undressed
It's kept close to the chest and it knows me best
And after this I swear I won't try to use it again

I want to see those scars, the ones etched into your heart
I want to know where your weakness comes from
I want to know where you hide when you choose to run
I want to know your greatest fear
I want to know what made you, my dear

I'll show all of my scars, the deep faults on my heart
I'll tell you the secret story of how I came to be
I'll let you know how far I went to become what you see
I'll even tell you my greatest fear
That you wouldn't want to know me, my dear

All around me rain is falling and I can hear the thunder calling my name
A line of light rips across the sky,
splitting the horizon in half. The world has broken into pieces
And from where I'm sitting, I can't find a single reason to move my wheels
The places where my friends are will drift from the rock where I've parked my car on top
The girl I love and all future chances at companionship will sail away as I sit here on my lonely strip

This isn't love,  it hurts too much,
but if this isn't what I thought then how can I ever know what it really was?

You could say,  what you say is truth,
but it isn't a matter for words of mouth when you can never spit out the proof!

Never fall prey to the promises of government or economy
They'll make you pay for the air you inhale, and if you don't give it up they'll throw you in jail
Nobody should own what was here before our race, but some day soon they'll be selling us outer space

A cat
A rat
A rabbit
And a bat
All walk
On different feet
A cats feet make him an acrobat
A rat's feet let him scurry fast
A rabbits feet help him hop high
And a bats feet just hang because he can fly
Cat pounces the rat because the rodent was too fat
Rabbit gets snatched by the bat as he wasn't very fast
Cat catches the bat and it surely won't be the last

I've been running for years
but never left my home
Wasting days away watching the world go by
Whenever I try to take part I break down and cry
All the people I want to know are always out of reach
And if they ever come close at all my words choke my throat
With a violent hack I spit up all I have caught in my brain
Then they disappear and we will never ever speak again
So I keep my heart inside, I keep my mouth from exposing
A fear that oft resides, all the doors and windows are closing
No places left to turn, what will I become
My chest it starts to burn, i think my days are done

go ahead, do whatever, just be stupid
going with the flow just isn't worth it
there's no point to live if you don't live by your own purpose
The ideas of others may get you far, but they'll rarely let you be who you really are
Sometimes it gets so hard to see, when all their shadows grow around me
They all stare down at me, eyes filled with pity, hoping i'll be what they've grown to expect

I think it can only be a dream
A life at peace
Free from disease
Where what we please
Is always seen
Where what we need
Is always free
Where what we want
Need not be bought
Where what we sought
Is always caught

It's been a long time since the last time that I put this pen to paper, to pour out the pieces of my heart that get caught in my throat. And now I'm writing you this letter but addressing it to your ghost, because even though you still exist in my head, the you that i used to know is most definitely dead. I miss the days where we'd sit in my car, and look out across the bay and wonder how far we could swim, and that's a lot like how I used to look at me and you, always wondering whether or not the love you showed for me was true, but it seems that I've lost sight everything you, because all that I see is that I want nothing more to do with the past. Oh god i hope that i can make this feeling last. I know I said I'd always love you, and that much is true, but I can't stand the fact the you don't love me too, so I gotta get away before the feeling tears me in two.

She said gimme a call, just not today or tomorrow
Maybe some time next week, next month, or maybe next year
Isn't it clear that she doesn't want you here

You rushed in to fill the all the quickly emptying spaces, and as the cracks grew wider you helped me hold my shape. You plugged the plethora of holes where my soul would try to escape, and you covered the countless crevices that I thought would seal my fate.

There are some things I hate thinking about, and sometimes I let them slip out.
I say a lot without speaking loud.
Just a misplaced word or two is all it takes, for me to show you that there's something melting all the glue that holds me together and keeps me true.

I black out several times a day thinking about all I want to say.

You make me forget what the point of this is. I've become as dull as the razor blades that you used to use upon your wrists, so I can barely leave a mark that won't be forgotten or still felt tomorrow, and I know if I walk away there's no reason you would ever want to follow

Up in the treehouse the lights have all gone out, and the curtains are keeping the sun from shining in. The floor boards are broken so you best watch your step or you might fall to the bottom and be met by your death. And I really don't mind if you want to fertilize the ground surrounding my fort, but if you're gonna do that let me know so I can dig a grave for your corpse

Today's been a good day, I've made it two hours without thoughts of suicide getting in my way, but oh no, here we go, again with the same old cold ideas, my mind is no longer clear, consumed and absorbed by fear, don't you dare ask me why I'm here, If I had the answer you wouldn't want to hear. It's a sad sob story produced by the things I choose to do that pull me away from all the reasons I try so hard to deny, because to be honest I don't want to die, I just don't to have to try to live a life plagued by dreams of wingless flight and silent nights

I could **** us both, by starting with you
I could tear that shredded cloth you call a life into two
Piece by piece, I can infect your head with my deadly disease
You just have to ask please
Because I won't do anything that is not asked of me

I've tried hard to provide, but every dollar dies in vain
Please just tell me your price and I'll make sure that it's paid
Piece by piece, take all I have and  burn it at my feet
But I forgot to ask please
Because I can't do anything that is asked of me

How can I ever hope to break through when I've already been broken by all the mounting proof that what I once believed was never even true?

Swept up into a dream
The likes of which I'd never seen
Time when fast but we went slow
And nobody around us could have known
All the incredible and amazing places that we would see
We walked out the front door into another room
We looked behind us and saw that the distance grew
There we were so far from where we began
Both standing there, not alone, but hand in hand
Ready to face the impossible and unknown world again
We reach a window open it up
We climb out and were on a mountain top
From up here everyone can hear us now
And there's not a thing in this world that can bring us down

I used to wish for slits through my wrists and a hole in my skull, but when the blood would start to flow, I wouldn't learn anything I didn't already know, and the pain did not go, it only slowly continued to grow with each mark I left to show

I used to get into fights, screaming bouts against the wind and the sky, but when the words in my throat would finally run dry, I'd realize I had only been shouting in the hope of reaching the soul trapped behind my eyes, to free him from the denial that coated each of my lies

Like an old record, I've played your voice in my head a million times over, so much so that the vinyl is starting to degrade and the sweet sound that I used to hear is distorted and pretty soon it will be worm out completely. And like an old photograph that I can't stop picking up, the edges of your face are wrinkled and torn, and someday you'll be so faded that I can't make you out at all. Your smell has already been forgotten, like trying to remember the smell of a house that you haven't lived in for over a decade. The familiar smell of the wood floors and dinner on the stove are impossible to recall, replaced by the new carpet and the take out left on the counter to rot and stink up this new home of yours.

Im sitting in the dark with no one but myself
The clock keeps ticking as i inch closer to hell
Id give anything to anyone to let me out of this cell
I no longer have it in me to scream or yell
The only sound i hear is the calling of the hourly bell

Die you demon, yes die you disaster
I can't find clarity, I can't even control my conscience
Solvent of sanguine, can't say I'm sure
Pale to perfection, can't pile the potential
Now is never, and nowhere is near
Finding my freedom, and forgoing my fate
Wasting my wishes on wanting of wisdom

You were my try at a less than literal suicide,  a metaphorical mutilation of self, an imaginary imprisonment in someone else's hell.

He scrambles to find his words outside her front door, they all spill onto her front porch
She looks at him and all he can say is I don't know
She looks at the ground and says she has to go
He wanders back to his car but she doesn't leave the doorway
She proclaims out into the night "I knew you would run away"
He turns his head around and shuffles his feet on the ground
He's still looking for an answer the likes of which he hasn't found
With a little shake, he speaks back to the surrounding black;
"I thought I forgot my mind in a sack, I left it here and I want it back
It's been oddly dark and I cannot feel my heart, but I need all my parts if I'm ever to start
Maybe after I'm reacquainted with my brain, I can let you in without piggybacking all the pain
If the reattached pieces manage to cooperate, then maybe I'll see you at some later date"