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318 · Jul 2016
Still As Stone
AK93 Jul 2016
It's like we've exited slow motion and gone completely frozen. No longer like an ocean, we do not flow. Our crashing waves have fallen silent, along with the atmosphere behind them.
AK93 Dec 2015
She says she wants to climb into my bed, but I guess she doesn't want to get into my head, because every night she sleeps alone instead
316 · Jun 2016
Bad Luck (Schmuck)
AK93 Jun 2016
If you come over, I'll clutch my rabbits foot and my four leaf clover, I'll throw a pinch of salt over my shoulder then break my leg ten times over, and if I generate enough luck you'll pity me enough to ****
AK93 Sep 2016
Can everyone just shut up about the things they love?
What do you know,
We say that we love, but then tomorrow,
we gotta go.
No it's not you,
You're completely lovable,
This is just
the
most
unlit
****.
313 · Jun 2014
Bomb
AK93 Jun 2014
Some people are like bombs, just waiting to go off
Waiting for that spark that's sure to set them off
Just dying to explode, their reasons sometimes unknown
Maybe they were made to blow, but some of them will never go
Lying dormant, no fire for the fuse
Waiting silently, just longing to be used
AK93 Jul 2016
The spider gathers friends all day and never lets them get away
They will sit and stay and with them he will play
Squirm and try as they might the spider's friends will stay the night
Until he remembers what his mother said
*"Don't play with your food, eat it before its dead"
AK93 Oct 2016
I miss when rejection was just being told "ew, no way".
At least the message was clear.
Unlike with you,
where every day either feels like a first date,
or like we've been at war for almost a year,
and I don't know which one is true,
but that's just my point of view.
310 · Apr 2017
Invest In Yourself
AK93 Apr 2017
Dont be fooled, loyalty builds interest. Sometimes youll get paid your due the way good parents should teach their  children to do, but you'll also be prey to be played by those who pray for a generous and vulnerable soul to use
309 · Feb 2016
Locomotive
AK93 Feb 2016
I hate trains
Not as much as planes
But it beats walking in the rain
Don't sit there
That seats reserved
I'm saving it for my new best friend
Once she hops on I'll be at the end
To the end of the line
Til the end of time
I said that you would be mine
But this train is running late
So I must account for this change of fate
You missed your chance
The doors have closed
We left you on the platform in your lonely trance
But of course it must be my fault
You couldn't read the schedule I transposed
Just a minute too late
You were busy filling your plate
I was busy filling your place
This train I'm on only goes one way
Its moving forward
Its taking me away
308 · Mar 2018
Fading Out
AK93 Mar 2018
I'll dissolve my heart in alcohol
Cloud my mind and eyes in smoke and doubt
Piece by piece, I'll fall to peace
From madness grows the seed of freedom
307 · May 2016
I Dont Know How To Feel
AK93 May 2016
When nothing goes wrong
you think you're like a bomb
that still needs to go off

When days are too good
you don't know if you should
feel free to feel like you do

When months have gone by
without wishing you'd die
you can't help but ask why
306 · Oct 2015
Acquaintance
AK93 Oct 2015
I want to see those scars, the ones etched into your heart
I want to know where your weakness comes from
I want to know where you hide when you choose to run
I want to know your greatest fear
I want to know what made you, my dear

I'll show all of my scars, the deep faults on my heart
I'll tell you the secret story of how I came to be
I'll let you know how far I went to become what you see
I'll even tell you my greatest fear
That you wouldn't want to know me, my dear
305 · Jan 2016
Destroy(h)er
AK93 Jan 2016
The sirens are singing such violent songs, signaling that once again I have done wrong. My mind has been breached, my shores are not calm, but what can I do to silence their calls? They speak in poetry, metaphors for the harm that I've caused, and I can't understand their verse. My ears hear their words but my thoughts refuse to follow along. My actions show that I have not learned a single **** truth from the last time that I was burned, and all I can think is how good it would feel, to be fire again and know that I am real. I can create but I cannot touch the realities, yet when it comes to destruction I can ruin with comfort and ease, I **** every piece of the world that I see
305 · Dec 2014
Progress
AK93 Dec 2014
Can you hear it
The motors hum
Working behind
The rising sun
And can you see
The bits of rust
On these machines
Built to move us
A golden age
Progress proclaimed
We can't stop
Til its too late
The suns a slave
To our own needs
We'll work it dry
We'll make it bleed
The lap of luxury
Where we sit
Is built upon
Blood stained brick
304 · Mar 2017
.
AK93 Mar 2017
.
You were my try at a less than literal suicide,  a metaphorical mutilation of self, an imaginary imprisonment in someone else's hell.
302 · Dec 2012
Love Drug
AK93 Dec 2012
I need it to sleep
Every single day
I need it to think
In a more peaceful way
Oh it does
Take me away
But it doesn't **** the pain
That's here to stay

Without it I shiver
My chest gets tight
Without it I wonder
If I'll survive the night
Oh it does
Make me forget
I slip unconscious
Last thought regret

When I get it
Ill be ecstatic
On the inside
Always an addict
Oh it is
An incredible feeling
But its left me now
My heart has stopped beating
302 · Apr 2018
Ticking Away
AK93 Apr 2018
Im sitting in the dark with no one but myself
The clock keeps ticking as i inch closer to hell
Id give anything to anyone to let me out of this cell
I no longer have it in me to scream or yell
The only sound i hear is the calling of the hourly bell
300 · Jan 2017
What to do on a cloudy day
AK93 Jan 2017
Abandon work, buy two cigarette packs, and smoke every one as if kissing death will make it love you back
300 · Dec 2016
The Swimming Lesson
AK93 Dec 2016
You're like swimming in a lake filled with razor blades
A painful dive
So shallow and sharp with all those salty remarks
And I can't drown in you no matter how hard I try
299 · Mar 2015
Normally Fucked
AK93 Mar 2015
I come down from my last high and roll right into the next
I find places where I can hide but I never find no rest
I slip from my slumbers into hungry hornets' nests
And that sting, the sharp bleeding pain
Is the only thing left I crave
299 · Apr 2016
Animals
AK93 Apr 2016
A cat
A rat
A rabbit
And a bat
All walk
On different feet
A cats feet make him an acrobat
A rat's feet let him scurry fast
A rabbits feet help him hop high
And a bats feet just hang because he can fly
Cat pounces the rat because the rodent was too fat
Rabbit gets snatched by the bat as he wasn't very fast
Cat catches the bat and it surely won't be the last
299 · Feb 2016
Parasite
AK93 Feb 2016
Girl you make my skin crawl, like a bunch of worms squirming through dirt, you get underneath and eat where I hurt. Burrowing yourself deep inside, you turn yourself into butterflies, free in my stomach with no place to hide. Then up into my brain you will fly, lay your eggs behind my eyes, go out my mouth and let yourself die, knowing my future is with you in my mind
299 · Apr 2017
Calling All Calamities
AK93 Apr 2017
I don't want you to be good, I just need you to be mine, because all I'm looking for is a place where I can let my darkness shine
297 · Sep 2016
You are the eye of my storm
AK93 Sep 2016
All around you tsunamis and earthquakes are taking and breaking anything they can touch, yet I find peace in you and your place beneath the sea, and the shine of hope you cast upon all the destruction that I see surrounding me.

One day I may have to leave this sanctuary and face all the awful things that you've protected me from having to believe, but I would gladly die fighting against the apocalypse, if it meant we could share one first and final kiss.
297 · Feb 2016
Unrequited
AK93 Feb 2016
Its all fun and games til someone falls in love,
Its all fun and games til someone asks for more,
And suddenly the fun will stop.
You'll drift apart, the love will rot.
It'll fester in your chest, and when you've had enough you'll beg for death,
Because all the love that you have to give won't be enough to save you from this
297 · Jul 2016
Final Exam
AK93 Jul 2016
What about tomorrow, when I'm feeling better?
When I find myself, sleeping calmly in the morning light?
What about when I've raised to my feet, and stretched my leash again?
When I can take steps outside, without being bothered by greener grasses than mine?
When I do finally get "well" as you say, will you be there, or will the wait be too long? Perhaps I just need to be what I am, and if you don't want me then so be it.
So I ask you to tell me, is this goodbye?
296 · Mar 2016
Fading Away
AK93 Mar 2016
The sun is shining over all I see
There's a pleasant feeling falling over me
And though my mind still finds trouble soon I'll be set free
Set a course for the clouds amongst the cosmic sea
I'll find myself in a place of wonder atop the highest of trees
Nothing but space and time will be there to keep a hold of me
296 · Jan 2016
Papercut
AK93 Jan 2016
You make me forget what the point of this is. I've become as dull as the razor blades that you used to use upon your wrists, so I can barely leave a mark that won't be forgotten or still felt tomorrow, and I know if I walk away there's no reason you would ever want to follow
296 · Mar 2016
Don't Buy The Lies
AK93 Mar 2016
Never fall prey to the promises of government or economy
They'll make you pay for the air you inhale, and if you don't give it up they'll throw you in jail
Nobody should own what was here before our race, but some day soon they'll be selling us outer space
296 · Dec 2013
Why is it
AK93 Dec 2013
Why is it that every time I search myself for the words I need to use to make a good impression to someone else, I always slip, bite my lip, and choke upon the urge to quit? Why can't I take all theses phrases that I've scribbled out upon countless pages, turn them into words that if they ever could be heard would be powerful enough to even shake the birds? How many more times am I going to have to rehearse and curse to myself, just to get it though that I can be just like anybody else, and that I don't need to worry because I can be happy by myself? What's it gonna take to make me feel like I belong, that I'm not as lame as I think I am for always writing songs, that people can still love me even though I've done them wrong, and that me and anybody else could ever really get along? Why does it always feel like my world is about to implode, like my insides are always about to explode, that no matter who's around me I always feel alone, and that no matter what I do I will die unknown?
295 · Sep 2016
Crickets in your ears
AK93 Sep 2016
Another night spent all alone, no surprises there, and I'd bet my life that tomorrow will only bring me more despair, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but that's a pretty ****** thing to bring

******* future, you're just an infinite expanse of possibilities, but in every single one you feel the need to throw limitless misery at me.

The clock is ticking, oh wait it's not, it's been stopped for five months now. I guess the sounds are just engrained into my head, and I wonder if I'd still hear the voices if there really is a life after I'm dead.
294 · Mar 2018
A-Z Of You
AK93 Mar 2018
Aspiring broken
Corruptible dream
Eternal facile gripes
Hell in July
Keeping loose memories
Never organized plans
Queen reaps soul
Truth under veil
Willfully xeno
Yahweh's zeal
AK93 Apr 2017
I should be home sleeping with you by my side
But I'm out here walking all through the night
I should be set on making you my wife
But I'm out here wasting all of my time
To settle for less,  I'm not impressed
You'll see my protection when I get undressed
It's kept close to the chest and it knows me best
And after this I swear I won't try to use it again
293 · Jan 2016
7200 seconds
AK93 Jan 2016
Today's been a good day, I've made it two hours without thoughts of suicide getting in my way, but oh no, here we go, again with the same old cold ideas, my mind is no longer clear, consumed and absorbed by fear, don't you dare ask me why I'm here, If I had the answer you wouldn't want to hear. It's a sad sob story produced by the things I choose to do that pull me away from all the reasons I try so hard to deny, because to be honest I don't want to die, I just don't to have to try to live a life plagued by dreams of wingless flight and silent nights
292 · Jun 2016
Comfort
AK93 Jun 2016
Nothing ever feels so close to home like all alone
Nothing ever feels like home except for getting ******
I want to go back inside
I don't want to face the bright light of day
Don't get me wrong, I know it's not so bad
But everything was easier when nothing was all I had
This heart full of love is too heavy for me
This mind at peace is too steady for me to sleep
I miss the crashing waves of misery and fear
I miss the way I felt before I fell for you my dear
290 · Jan 2016
(Instructions Not Included)
AK93 Jan 2016
What do I need
Is it a verse, something romantic and clever
Or is it an epic, once in a lifetime endeavor
Would a simple, yet short and heartfelt confession do it
Or would the awkward silence break me, as I stare into your eyes knowing that I already knew it
I had a chance, but still I ******* blew it
Maybe its all in just being myself
But if its something special I could use a little help
290 · Feb 2017
TW0
AK93 Feb 2017
TW0
This isn't love,  it hurts too much,
but if this isn't what I thought then how can I ever know what it really was?

You could say,  what you say is truth,
but it isn't a matter for words of mouth when you can never spit out the proof!
AK93 Jun 2016
I could **** us both, by starting with you
I could tear that shredded cloth you call a life into two
Piece by piece, I can infect your head with my deadly disease
You just have to ask please
Because I won't do anything that is not asked of me

I've tried hard to provide, but every dollar dies in vain
Please just tell me your price and I'll make sure that it's paid
Piece by piece, take all I have and  burn it at my feet
But I forgot to ask please
Because I can't do anything that is asked of me
289 · May 2016
Sinz
AK93 May 2016
I can not quit
Caving in
Giving in
To familiar sin
AK93 Oct 2016
You rushed in to fill the all the quickly emptying spaces, and as the cracks grew wider you helped me hold my shape. You plugged the plethora of holes where my soul would try to escape, and you covered the countless crevices that I thought would seal my fate.
288 · Oct 2013
Dead
AK93 Oct 2013
I've been running for years
but never left my home
Wasting days away watching the world go by
Whenever I try to take part I break down and cry
All the people I want to know are always out of reach
And if they ever come close at all my words choke my throat
With a violent hack I spit up all I have caught in my brain
Then they disappear and we will never ever speak again
So I keep my heart inside, I keep my mouth from exposing
A fear that oft resides, all the doors and windows are closing
No places left to turn, what will I become
My chest it starts to burn, i think my days are done
288 · Jun 2016
When I See You
AK93 Jun 2016
Succumbing simultaneously to solitude and stupidity, I'm ferociously falling face first into infinity, the endless ****** of organismic existence, and the relentless reaches of unbounded urges. Viscerally and vehemently, I recall and recoil, as memories marked on the heart start to lock my parts.
287 · Dec 2013
Too much again
AK93 Dec 2013
Here I go again
Unable to abstain from sin
I lock myself within a box and never let anyone open it
I'm too tired to make another excuse
I'm too weak to put my skills to good use
All over once more
I forgot to build myself a door
I'm so tired of always being bored
Nobody would even want to i'm sure
I'll sit here and sink into the pit of my core
One more time
I look but cannot find
I've become displaced from my mind
I've left my body lying somewhere far behind
I can't return no matter how hard I try
Here I am again, nobody here but I
287 · Feb 2017
A Confession
AK93 Feb 2017
I knew this would happen but I did nothing to stop it.
Does that make me guilty of the crime?*

I know you don't want to serve your time,  so when they ask if I had an accomplice, I'll take the blame and bare responsibility for all the pain that you've inflicted upon the life you sought to save.
AK93 Dec 2015
She said gimme a call, just not today or tomorrow
Maybe some time next week, next month, or maybe next year
Isn't it clear that she doesn't want you here
286 · Jul 2016
Impossibilities
AK93 Jul 2016
I think it can only be a dream
A life at peace
Free from disease
Where what we please
Is always seen
Where what we need
Is always free
Where what we want
Need not be bought
Where what we sought
Is always caught
284 · Apr 2016
A definition
AK93 Apr 2016
Vile was a woman
Or was it bile?
The bit of stomach acid that comes up and burns your throat on its way out when you're vomiting after you've already projected your stomach contents all over for everybody to see, was a woman
281 · Jan 2018
What is it all, anyway...
AK93 Jan 2018
Four eyed freaks upon the screen
The mind isnt what it seems
Broken thoughts and cycles recycled
Break the bind by breaking the mind
Keep the peace
Out of sight
Out of mind
Forget the all
Its left behind
The mind can change
And so should you
The only thing
You have to do
Is learn to change
Your point of view
AK93 Sep 2016
All around me rain is falling and I can hear the thunder calling my name
A line of light rips across the sky,
splitting the horizon in half. The world has broken into pieces
And from where I'm sitting, I can't find a single reason to move my wheels
The places where my friends are will drift from the rock where I've parked my car on top
The girl I love and all future chances at companionship will sail away as I sit here on my lonely strip
281 · Jul 2016
Pieces XII
AK93 Jul 2016
I black out several times a day thinking about all I want to say.
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