Could I risk to love you again?
You never left my thoughts, despite the troubles that you caused
You never left my sight, even when my days were drained of light
You never escaped my heart, though now is not a time to start
To let you in again, dare I say I would
Honestly I want to, but I don't think we should
Even if you wanted to, I don't think I could
Let you out, keep you close
I'm in love in secret, I don't think you know
How many times I tried and failed to let you go

I only say I don't know because I don't want you to know.

Without clouds to drop rain on the ground your fires would spread with no end to be found

Take your soul babe

                                      And let it shine

If you ain't got one

                                      Thats alright

Just dont ask me

                                      Where I got mine

Yours will find you

                                      In a matter of time

Til' that day comes

                                      Don't you cry

Keep your head up

                                      And do your time

Emotional rollercoaster
Corn dogs of hope
Bumper car regrets
Tilt a whirl responsibilities
Twister of sensation
***** on her dress
Rejection of admission
Too short of esteem
Broken snow cone machine

Do you want me to get better, or to be better than you? Because I can count to one, but I'll never make it to two

I'm a rock caught in your shoe
And I won't come out
No matter what you do
You can shake me, but I won't come loose
You can hate me, but I'll stick with you

It's been a long time since the last time that I put this pen to paper, to pour out the pieces of my heart that get caught in my throat. And now I'm writing you this letter but addressing it to your ghost, because even though you still exist in my head, the you that i used to know is most definitely dead. I miss the days where we'd sit in my car, and look out across the bay and wonder how far we could swim, and that's a lot like how I used to look at me and you, always wondering whether or not the love you showed for me was true, but it seems that I've lost sight everything you, because all that I see is that I want nothing more to do with the past. Oh god i hope that i can make this feeling last. I know I said I'd always love you, and that much is true, but I can't stand the fact the you don't love me too, so I gotta get away before the feeling tears me in two.

I'm imagining infinite instances, inspiring insatiable insanities, inside implausibly intrinsic ideas, increasingly infiltriating inner ideals

My love is *****
My love is cheap
My love is the poison that your body seeks
My heart is pounding
Its awful sounding
I can't stop the feeling
Life's losing meaning
Your heart is pure
But you aren't sure
Can you hold on or will we go wrong
Its all up to you
There's nothing to do
Just sit here and wait for word of my fate

Hippie van, pew pew pew
In the shed, bonnnnnggggg
In the garage, dance contest
Just a few memories of you, which will now never be forgotten, now that you are gone

Parking lots
Dead end signs
Endless texts and facebook messages
All to tell me that I'd never be one of your exes
Because you'd never give me an honest chance to show you what I know about romance
Even though you sometimes considered the part as soon as we started launching the spaceship fell apart
We never made it past the atmosphere
Held down by the gravity of fear
Maybe I should call elon musk
See if he has any idea what's up
With the lack of progress in our mission to space
And if we'll ever see the result we aimed to create
Because I still dream of galaxies and supernovas with you by my side
But if I'm being honest I believe the light from this star we wished on has long since died

Don't you want to be something more, to be bigger than all of those whom you have no respect for?

I just want you to know,
though we aren't very close,
I wish you didn't have to go

I feel so empty, with no interest in being interested or interesting, though I don't mind much, but I think everyone else does, and I really don't need their judgements today.

Eggshell sphere
sitting beyond the atmosphere
Pink and purple wisps of moisture
mingling beneath blue sky
Orange setting star
falling beneath earths end
I am here,
alone,
again

Why walk in the footsteps of others, when you can soar above all on eagle's wings
Please my friend, don't shoot me down
Just because I don't keep my feet on the ground
I like the way I see things from up in the clouds
Away from the light and the sounds
That pollute your proclaimed holy ground
Away from the struggle and constant concern
Its just a trick that you too can learn
Forget your worthless, gold painted stones
Gather the love you keep in your homes
Spread it around and soon you'll be over the ground
Flying together, as one and for all with love

Self-worth is a word that I never had time to learn

I wake up
Soaked in sweat
Shook from a dream
I won't soon forget
Nightmares reveal my deepest fear
That I am hated by all I get near
Why don't they think better of me
I'm just being what I know how to be
But for them, it's never enough
Maybe someday I'll see through the guise
And realize i'm not the one they despise
I'm the same as them, just a little different
But I feel the pain
Of self hatred inherent
It looks as if there's no escape
Panic grips me
It keeps me awake
If I slip back to sleep
I'll wake again just to weep

In darkness I walked
With you I talked
I asked for your help
But there was nothing you could do
You told me I was weak
There was no response I could speak
You told me I would hit the bottom on my own
You told me I would have to climb out alone
Well I have seen the floor of the well
I have tried to escape but to no avail
I continued to reach for a hand that was not there
So there I sat and lost my reason to care
With no light to guide my way
With no fight to get through the day
I found myself alone with the truth
The carvings on the wall will provide you the proof
The strength to escape must come from within
If you believe you cannot do it on your own
Then forever you will try but you will never win
I have begun to find the strength inside
To climb out of the hole where I reside
I have begun to see the light of day
Now there is nothing standing in my way

I want you, and I mean all of you, not just the pretty pieces you want me to see. I want to consume your darkest and dirtiest parts and all the secrets you keep concealed in your heart. I desire the taste of your greatest regrets, and to drink from the fountain of your most dishonest intents. I long to know just how low you have brought yourself to get where you are, and to truly understand everything from your past that ever broke your heart.

I'm so scared of losing what we have

I don't want to have to forget because the pain of remembering is too intense. I don't want to wait through the empty years until I can finally look back on our time fondly and know I've moved on. I don't want to have the violent and guilt ridden nightmares reminding me of what I've broken. I don't want to feel the engulfing embrace of loneliness or the fantastic freedom of self destruction. I don't want to avoid certain songs that I love to prevent the ugly feelings of shame and regret that carry over every note of the tunes I used to consume with you. I don't want to be forgotten by you
I want you with me, always

Waste your time
Take it in
Soon enough
Life will begin
Make no rush
Ease your pace
Only once
You'll see this place
Have no haste
Gather awe
Worry not
You'll feel it all

It's been a long time since you rocked alone, dancing in the dark, throwing all you've got to the wind and sky, asking for nothing in return, then having it all given back, yeah it's been such a long time since you loved where you were,
and it's so good to be back and you want to stay, but the sweetest things can't be sweet memories until you can say goodbye, just stay till sunrise then be on your way, and know you're welcome here anytime you want to drop by

Do you remember when we used to fly
And we never thought that we would die
Before we fell from the sky
Do you remember you and I
Above the clouds we climbed and dipped
Never worrying that we would slip
Together we glided towards calm shores
Do you remember when I was yours

Why do I persist to exist when the nearest exit is just a slit of the wrist away

Why does it always come to this
Losing my way
Over the same old road
It only goes one way
But I don't know which way to go
So every now and then I turn around to where I've been and start walking back

I need a gutter to spill my heart into,
But I don't think it can ever be you

Some days all you can do is hope you made the right choice
Did you speak too loudly, could she even hear your voice?
Did you do everything in your power to stop this?
Did you give yourself up when you went in for the kiss?
Maybe you should have held back, or maybe you were right to come out and attack
Maybe you should have ended this long ago, but what that would have done will never be known
Maybe you should have spoke a little kinder, or maybe you could have set her on fire
What if you were her, how would you have wanted it?
You'll never know
If you made the right decision
You tried with precision
But you can never be sure
As long as your intent was pure
Then you did the right thing for sure

My mind is a straightjacket, and no matter how long I struggle or how strongly I flail, I can't break free from or quiet the thoughts causing a racket
My life is a padded cell, and no matter how loud I scream or how hard I slam my head against the walls, nobody hears my cries or even comes to help
You are the nurse ratchet of my existence, and no matter what I say or how many pills of advice you force down my throat, it seems that I'll never be well enough to relinquish your resistance

Walking through a wormhole, I feel my mind go flat.
*I've entered your presence

If love eternal
Then I eternally rot
For what I have not

This is heart station calling all limbs, don't panic yet but a fights about to begin, and if you want to survive you better pick the right side or you'll be ejected from the rest of our skin.

This is brain station, what's going on, sensors telling me something gotta be wrong
Wait, there's someone in here
We are not alone said the mind to itself

Crashing through the wall came the heart soldiers sneak assault, capturing the brain and taking control of the body again

All the girls say I'm such a nice guy
Well if I'm so nice why don't they try
A little less to leave me impressed
Why can't I get them undressed

I can be better again
I know it
I know it
I know it
But I haven't done a **** thing to show it
My mind, all I've done is try to slow it
With drugs and *** come freedom from anything real
High enough is only when I can no longer feel
When I can't feel the pull of gravity ******* anything it can into my heart
When I can't feel the anger that crashes and thrashes til' I'm torn apart
All these things the cover me and hide me from the truth
All the signs that show I'm just denying the written proof
Because I refuse to listen to my friends who should know best
Because I refuse to lie with those who offer a place to rest
On my own, I've always felt I must
Because any bridge that doesn't burn will just rust and turn to dust
I've abandoned all who I've feared would do the same
I've given up on playing because I thought I'd lose the game

Never make fun of anyone other than yourself
Always have at lease one good bottle of liquor on your shelf
Do not pray daily if you are just scared of hell
If you want to find heaven you must build it yourself

Never ask more of those who can't help themselves
Always drink in excess and toast to your health
Do not fear death because once you're gone there's nothing else
Only the possibility that we'll expand beyond our current selves

If what I take doesn't **** me by tomorrow, its safe to assume it will just prolong the sorrow
If where I go isn't where I intend, its natural to presume I wanted to walk down dead ends
If the things I say don't ring softly through your ears, just know my heart is shook by the sight of all your tears

I just want you
For a short walk under the moon
With the breeze that will chill your exposed skin
I'll offer you my jacket if you would let me in
To the heart where my all of my faith has been placed
I can't help but smile when I see your face
But if you reject me and make me walk home alone
I'll leave with regret knowing we both went home cold

Do you mean to be so alluring?
I'm not sure if you know what you're doing
To me. I see something in the way to speak
To me. I'd take it any day of the week,
But I don't know if you're really giving,
Or if this is just you being silly.
I hope you're aware and taking notice
Of all the things, I thought you'd know this.
If this is a dream then I hope you don't wake me,
But if it's not then I think I need a shaking.
It can't be real.
I'm yours to steal.
You make it feel
Oh so surreal

Beneath the canopy of falling stars
We sat and waited in my car
I looked at you as you stared silently
As I wondered what was wrong with me
You said I messed up, but you did so much worse
I only gave you everything, but still my name you cursed
Now as the tide pulls away, I reach for you as you do the same
Why were we ever so close, when all of my words are now spent on your ghost
I really wish that you'd have stayed, and I just cant accept the choice that you made
But now I think that its too late, you were lucky to have even escaped

I take a look at how far we've come
And wonder why it ever took so long
Mountains were traversed
And oceans crossed
But still I feel
Somewhere we got lost
I don't know how
We got this far
But im willing to bet
We aren't done
Where we'll go
No one knows
But together we'll walk any bridge we cross
Because inside I know
Side by side is where we belong

There's a reason we're here
Each day means something
We both try to ignore
Cuz we know what's in store
If we leave our stores open
We'll have our floors cleared
Then we'll get out of here
Each of us will be leaving
With what wasn't ours
To take and to keep away
We stole all our good parts
And at the end of each day
We'll decide we should stay
Because we can't fend for ourselves
When we're both such easy targets

**** me now
Or do it later
Procrastinate a while
I won't mind
I'll eat dirt
When it is served

Say it with me
Pronounce each word with clarity
Scream the message into my open ears
Let the phrase slip off your velvet  tongue
Say it now while were both still young
Every time we try to speak
Our thoughts get twisted in a verbal trapeze
If only you could say what your heart desires
We'd find ourselves free from regrets raging pyres
Claimed by the madness we've both created
Indulging in fantasies for which we are hated
And its true our worlds are not so distant
So spit out what you're thinking this very instant

I love you, even though you don't
Can you love me, because I won't
I wish it wasn't so, I can't even keep control
Emotions exploding over oceans corroding coastal human habitats
Imploding at the core, I can't take it anymore

I know a way, but it'll have to be alone
Nobody else can know, I'm going to dig a hole
I wish it wasn't true, I know nothing else to do
Rapture raging behind brown eyes experiencing self selected dark demise
Destruction from within, I have given in

He scrambles to find his words outside her front door, they all spill onto her front porch
She looks at him and all he can say is I don't know
She looks at the ground and says she has to go
He wanders back to his car but she doesn't leave the doorway
She proclaims out into the night "I knew you would run away"
He turns his head around and shuffles his feet on the ground
He's still looking for an answer the likes of which he hasn't found
With a little shake, he speaks back to the surrounding black;
"I thought I forgot my mind in a sack, I left it here and I want it back
It's been oddly dark and I cannot feel my heart, but I need all my parts if I'm ever to start
Maybe after I'm reacquainted with my brain, I can let you in without piggybacking all the pain
If the reattached pieces manage to cooperate, then maybe I'll see you at some later date"

If you're not getting what you want all you have to do is ask, and if you still don't get it you gotta decide whether or not you're better than that. Are you gonna stay without and pout about it, or do what you should and turn your back because you don't need that?