You told me to listen to myself.
"Follow what feels right."
So I sit here tonight, alone, and ******, brooding over the choice I have chosen.
You said I need to fix myself.
I agree that I'm broken
But if you can't care for me when I'm sharp little pieces, what makes you think you could love me when I'm whole?
You cried that I wouldn't fight for myself.
"Be a man and take what you want!"
So I'll take my love and my life, because I'm selfish, and you're right. I'll end this shame we've sunk into tonight.

What about tomorrow, when I'm feeling better?
When I find myself, sleeping calmly in the morning light?
What about when I've raised to my feet, and stretched my leash again?
When I can take steps outside, without being bothered by greener grasses than mine?
When I do finally get "well" as you say, will you be there, or will the wait be too long? Perhaps I just need to be what I am, and if you don't want me then so be it.
So I ask you to tell me, is this goodbye?

You'll beg and you'll plead, because baby you see, I'm the type of disease you so desperately need.

I black out several times a day thinking about all I want to say.

The feeling rips through me. Crashing waves rush over my entire body sending the current of emotion running through my limbs until it smashes with all its might into the tips of my fingers and toes, causing me to reach out and kick away at the same time. My mind rapidly succumbs to the flooding, as my thoughts boil and drown beneath the toxic mixture that has poured into my head.

I don't long for a life full of faces where I'll fail to find a pair of eyes with a soul like mine behind them.

We all need someone we can speak truthfully to, an open ear to hear whatever it is that we're going through. And yet the sad thing is, I don't think anyone could deal with the words that I so often sift through.

Lately I've been learning some very important truths.
I've learned that you don't always need proof,
Just believe in what makes sense to you.
Everybody's entitled to their own point of view,
But make sure you stand by the truth you choose

Let the monster free, he will not bring you harm. He's there to protect you, and he is your lucky charm. Break the chains you've been told that he needs. Relinquish you fear, and learn to let him be.

Do you want me to get better, or to be better than you? Because I can count to one, but I'll never make it to two

If you're not getting what you want all you have to do is ask, and if you still don't get it you gotta decide whether or not you're better than that. Are you gonna stay without and pout about it, or do what you should and turn your back because you don't need that?

Don't you want to be something more, to be bigger than all of those whom you have no respect for?

I think it can only be a dream
A life at peace
Free from disease
Where what we please
Is always seen
Where what we need
Is always free
Where what we want
Need not be bought
Where what we sought
Is always caught

This is the place where we fall apart, standing over the cliff with hearts in hand, making the leap to the promised land. This is the place where we swallow the dark, never to play broken parts ever again, I'm sorry I brought you here my friend

Like substance I abuse you.
I crave you.
There's nothing I won't do,
For a taste
Of my next big mistake
With your face

You may think that you are, but you're no walk in the park. You're more like a ten mile swim straight down, to the bottom of an ocean where no light can be found, while I'm struggling desperately to breathe, because you put a kink in the hose that holds the air I need to breathe

I mess up on purpose because I don't know natural movement.

I can't trust anybody with anything I feel, if I do I might be wrong.

So I'd rather be fake and aware of my isolating intensity.

I'd destroy my world if you'd just go down on me.

To be your only light in life drains me of all I have to shine bright

Last night I fell asleep with my lover next to me
I tossed and turned through all my many manic dreams
And I thought at least when I wake up she'll be there to comfort me
But when I opened my eyes she had become just a memory

Oh my sweetest dream, why did you not stay
Was it something I did or something I forgot to say
I don't think it's right but what can I do
I'll go back to bed I guess and try to dream of you

I feel so empty, with no interest in being interested or interesting, though I don't mind much, but I think everyone else does, and I really don't need their judgements today.

Riding down the highway, heading to your heart
There was a nasty accident, a ten car pile up
Now I'm running late, and you no longer want to wait

Now I hide behind my eyes with silence, blinding you to the noise inside my mind

The spider gathers friends all day and never lets them get away
They will sit and stay and with them he will play
Squirm and try as they might the spider's friends will stay the night
Until he remembers what his mother said
*"Don't play with your food, eat it before its dead"

It's like we've exited slow motion and gone completely frozen. No longer like an ocean, we do not flow. Our crashing waves have fallen silent, along with the atmosphere behind them.

It'll never be perfect or everything you want, but if you learn to love what little you've got, you'll come to find that you've got a lot

I only say I don't know because I don't want you to know.

I want to know all of the things you see in me, so can see how many of them I can believe

I often need to be reminded of the things I've said and how they contradict the currently carried thoughts in my head. I need to be assured that my worth will be preserved and that i shouldn't believe the things I thought I've heard.

There's a reason we're here
Each day means something
We both try to ignore
Cuz we know what's in store
If we leave our stores open
We'll have our floors cleared
Then we'll get out of here
Each of us will be leaving
With what wasn't ours
To take and to keep away
We stole all our good parts
And at the end of each day
We'll decide we should stay
Because we can't fend for ourselves
When we're both such easy targets

I could **** us both, by starting with you
I could tear that shredded cloth you call a life into two
Piece by piece, I can infect your head with my deadly disease
You just have to ask please
Because I won't do anything that is not asked of me

I've tried hard to provide, but every dollar dies in vain
Please just tell me your price and I'll make sure that it's paid
Piece by piece, take all I have and  burn it at my feet
But I forgot to ask please
Because I can't do anything that is asked of me

I'll never say that I need you, but you should know I think I might
I'll never try to stop you from leaving, but I hope that you'll stay tonight
There's so many words that I want to use
I've measured their worth and they're worth y of you
If only you knew just what I thought,  just how I took off when it was you I saw
And all the reasons why I've tried to hide all the love I feel inside
There are so many things that I'll never speak
But one day I may be able to say, just how much you mean to me

With this, a first kiss,
we can find freedom from fear,
and bust into bliss

I want you, and I mean all of you, not just the pretty pieces you want me to see. I want to consume your darkest and dirtiest parts and all the secrets you keep concealed in your heart. I desire the taste of your greatest regrets, and to drink from the fountain of your most dishonest intents. I long to know just how low you have brought yourself to get where you are, and to truly understand everything from your past that ever broke your heart.

Nothing ever feels so close to home like all alone
Nothing ever feels like home except for getting ******
I want to go back inside
I don't want to face the bright light of day
Don't get me wrong, I know it's not so bad
But everything was easier when nothing was all I had
This heart full of love is too heavy for me
This mind at peace is too steady for me to sleep
I miss the crashing waves of misery and fear
I miss the way I felt before I fell for you my dear

What I could start with my words would shake the nest of every bird in the world

What could be so wrong with me that I see a piece of me inside of you when you do all those wicked things you do?

I always find you when I'm dreaming, and once in the worst dream I ever had you said you were leaving. But in all the rest you stay standing by my side, or find me where I've been hiding and tell me everything will be alright. I've dreamt of you at least a hundred times, and it's always the best sleep of my whole life. The waking world can only compare when I'm with you anywhere, and when we're lying together with our arms wrapped around each other I don't want to fall asleep because no dream I have could be more sweet.

Succumbing simultaneously to solitude and stupidity, I'm ferociously falling face first into infinity, the endless ****** of organismic existence, and the relentless reaches of unbounded urges. Viscerally and vehemently, I recall and recoil, as memories marked on the heart start to lock my parts.

This has clearly progressed past what you had prepared
So now you're stalling, silent, and quite simply scared
But this is what you wanted, so go and take a chance
I swear you're gonna make it, it's all in your hands

I want to know what it means to be free
To grow up strong and start a family
I'd like a house somewhere deep in the trees
And a big warm bed for you to share with me
I want to play my part
I want to create art
I'd love to publish my words in a children's book, something parents might read to put their kids to sleep
I want to express myself without restraint
And I'd really like to do good without needing thanks

I've barely been able to think whenever you've been around, and I could rarely speak more than two words to you between these past two weeks. Things are changing at such a rapid rate and I don't know if I can keep up with your elevated pace, and when we're both in the same place I feel like I've drifted beyond the bounds of space

There's a little voice ringing loudly in my head, screaming stay under your covers or else you'll wind up dead. His silent sound will drown out any doubt that I can ever do without leaving the safety of my house.

If you come over, I'll clutch my rabbits foot and my four leaf clover, I'll throw a pinch of salt over my shoulder then break my leg ten times over, and if I generate enough luck you'll pity me enough to ****

The world I know does not exist, when you are by my side
It's replaced by a place of wonder, where smiles don't need to hide
A land of entrancing dancing, with the shaking of our souls
When we grab hold of each other, everything surrounding us lets go

*I just want to flow
In the place that I know
The sun always shows

I just need to breathe
In the place that can be
Only you next to me

In the face of your glory, I will tremble but not stumble
I will raise my head, and look up
To the stars your eyes contain, jewels I may never reflect brightly from, though I am graced by their fabulous glean as you aim them at me.
With a sensation arising of desire and admiration,
I will meet your magnificent stare,
And I will be pulled into your space