Like an old record, I've played your voice in my head a million times over, so much so that the vinyl is starting to degrade and the sweet sound that I used to hear is distorted and pretty soon it will be worm out completely. And like an old photograph that I can't stop picking up, the edges of your face are wrinkled and torn, and someday you'll be so faded that I can't make you out at all. Your smell has already been forgotten, like trying to remember the smell of a house that you haven't lived in for over a decade. The familiar smell of the wood floors and dinner on the stove are impossible to recall, replaced by the new carpet and the take out left on the counter to rot and stink up this new home of yours.

I hate trains
Not as much as planes
But it beats walking in the rain
Don't sit there
That seats reserved
I'm saving it for my new best friend
Once she hops on I'll be at the end
To the end of the line
Til the end of time
I said that you would be mine
But this train is running late
So I must account for this change of fate
You missed your chance
The doors have closed
We left you on the platform in your lonely trance
But of course it must be my fault
You couldn't read the schedule I transposed
Just a minute too late
You were busy filling your plate
I was busy filling your place
This train I'm on only goes one way
Its moving forward
Its taking me away

Today's been a good day, I've made it two hours without thoughts of suicide getting in my way, but oh no, here we go, again with the same old cold ideas, my mind is no longer clear, consumed and absorbed by fear, don't you dare ask me why I'm here, If I had the answer you wouldn't want to hear. It's a sad sob story produced by the things I choose to do that pull me away from all the reasons I try so hard to deny, because to be honest I don't want to die, I just don't to have to try to live a life plagued by dreams of wingless flight and silent nights

So I guess that I'm at it again, trying to transcribe my thoughts through a pen, because to push these words out the tiny hole that is my mouth is a task that will only drive my sanity south.

Is it still safe to call you best friend, or is that no longer your name?

I said it once, and I'll say it again
Don't come back to me if you need a friend
I screamed it before, and I'll shout it once more
Once you are gone I'm locking the door

Boredom may drive you to some scary places
Where ignorance hides behind all of our faces
What we ignore is everything we fear
Don't ask me why, I don't know how I got here