On this summer day
rain sang me a lullaby,
as I rested my head.

I think that coffee helps.
It’s still really hard.
The only thing keeping me going is not letting you down.

I want to hold you closer than the ink on my skin and tell you stories that make you smile and light up.
I want to watch ****** movies with you so I can hold your hand and kiss your soft freckled cheeks.
I want to sing you my songs and trace the invisible lines that run up and down your legs.
I want to love you as you love me, and call you my friend, because this world is too dangerous alone.

I want your smile,
I want your love,
I want your comfort,
I want you.

Now I can’t trust you.

I don’t hate you
Not in the slightest
In fact I miss you

I miss the movie filled sleep-overs
I miss the comedy bits that were ours together, like the ones that you and your brother have now
I miss playing music near you, without the fear of judgement or envy of your own skill
I miss the long talks about our lives, our aspirations, our friends
I miss when we were best friends, when we were brothers
I think I played with your heart in ways that I didn’t mean to do
I think we both lost things that made us click so well
I’m not exactly sure what they were
But I’m hoping, praying, that maybe we can get them back
After all, summer finally came
I love you