So there we were
Sat in dingy little cafe
With Cappuccino's in front of us,
Talking.

I,
Excited,
With my make up done and my hair just right,
Finally talking to guy I have been fawning over for months.
The guy I was still too shy to talk to,
Even after we'd made each others acquaintance,
Was sitting in front of me
Making jokes and asking questions,
His green eyes boring a hole in mine.

He,
About to leave,
So that he could meet his girlfriend.

The bubble was burst.
The parade was rained on.
What a waste.

I love the night sky
but it makes me feel
so small.
To look up
and see the vast darkness,
so massive and beautiful.
To see the glimmering stars,
and wonder what it would be like
to be up in space.
Its overwhelming to think
that there are over 500 billion galaxies.
I'm only one person.
One small human,
on a tiny planet.
The whole world is moving,
and I'm just standing still.

i wrote to you,
not here,
not in poetry,
not in private,
but to you,
the real you,
and you won't answer,
and i'm dying,
and you would never answer,
because you turned me off like a switch,
i'm dead to you,
and I'm dying,
you are killing me,
you are killing me
and I love you

Striving to be a good being
I care too much
But when I care to little
That's when you love me,
I do so much for you
Yet nothing comes back
Around
You're poison
Toxic
But danger has always called my name
I crave your fumes
The high,
The rush,
All because of
You
I've let go of many

But why do I still give you my all?

It was her who missed me the most. Her, who knew me inside and out.
She never forgot the smell of my skin,
the lines on my palms.

Those nights where we were alone together,
draped in messy blankets and soft pillows.
I awoke to her resting on my chest.
Running my fingers through her hair, a continuous motion.
But it was her who missed me the most.

So it was.
Creating our own life together. And we were
something else entirely.
She took pictures on the camera she held like a bible.
I watched her smile.
Held her like a newborn.
Dried her tears.
But it was her, who missed me the most.

She, like you;
never forgot the night where nothing else mattered.
Where true love seemed possible.
And like you,
she cried.
Hard and heavy tears that ruined her makeup.
But she will never forget.

        It was her, who missed me the most.

I've been up for days...how young can  you die from old age?