Everything
It's truly
a
chaotic
thing
to
suddenly
see

starlight,
heaven,
and
everything

in someone's eyes

my life is a
curse
I should have
never been born
I guess I was put on
this earth
to be a
curse

dark night
shine bright
in the darkest night
please be my light

dark night
black bird
about to take flight,
man in black
about to start a fight,
with someone
holding a kite,
there's a flicker
of light,
**** darkness,
internal blackness.
darkness brings death
in the pale moonlight
of dark night .

dead on the inside
lively on the outside
I just wanna die
nobody else knows why
death take me away
let my soul fly
please make me  die
dead on the inside
and will always be that way

Depression is were you want to be alone,
But at the same time you dont want to be lonely.
Depression is where everything is going right,
But you're still sad.
Depression is wanting to go out,
But at the same time not wanting to socialize.
Depression is feeling trapped,
Trapped in your own mind
and no one understands.
Depression is having scars on your thighs and arms,
Scars from the battle you fought.
Depression is having sleepless nights,
Depression is shouting for help,
But no one hears you.
Depression is fighting demons deep
inside you.
Depression is not something to laugh at,                                    
So grow up if you think depression is just an act,
Depression is something serious.

it's something everyone feels, sometimes, it comes in flows, or sometimes it's permanent and other times times, it comes when your missing someone dearly.
it comes in waves and flashes, or it just never goes away.
but while your depressed, look around you at the beautiful things and people you have in your life. don't feel empty, but rather enjoy what you have, because it will never last forever.

it doesn't matter if you share blood
or are married,
there are people in life,
who will be practically family.
it doesn't always mean you're blood related,
but it does mean we have some pretty
important people in life,
who want to be in yours .
it just makes your family bigger,
better and especially
special.
family is family
no matter how much we wish it wasn't,
they will always be apart of us....

hi guys i changed my profile
forgot my password
purple bear
was my last word,
my last account
i got a knew one
so if you see some of the same
poems on
this device
the just know that
i got a new account
by guys cheers :)

home at last
with my family
i hadn't seen in 8 years
is what i imagined?
no it isnt
it's better in someways
and worse in others
but family is amazing
my family is amazing
my mama
is amazing
you never know how much a home can mean to you
until it's all gone
family. :)
there is no home without family.
home
is family

have I told you
I love you
I really do
you the world to me
but you don't care
you never have
how I've loved you
and you've just waved it away,
girl I love you
you don't care
so I guess this is
goodbye
cause I'm done trying

waiting hurts
forgetting hurts
but not knowing
witch decision to take
can sometimes be the
most painful

IF i died tonight,
would you die with me?
IF i died tonight,
would you feel that i was gone?
IF i died tonight,
would you know it?
IF i died tonight,
would some part of you die with me?
IF i died tonight,
would you care?
IF i died tonight,
would you just walk away?
IF i died tonight,
would you remember me?
IF i died tonight,
would you live on for me?
IF i died tonight,
i would want you to be happy,
IF i died tonight,
would you come to my grave?
IF i died tonight,
would you bash anyone who didn't know me but came to my funeral?
IF i died tonight,
would you still love me forever and always?
IF i died tonight.....

did I disappoint you
I never meant to
I love you have I told you that
if I haven't it is true
I always have
I always will
but the thing is i'm afraid to say
will you ever give me another chanc

what happens if the one you thought you loved isn't the one you actually love?
what happens if you find out that you've been dating the wrong guy?
you fall for someone else,
maybe not better,
but maybe not worse.
is right?
is it wrong?
to date someone who ignores you,
who doesn't the real you?
who doesn't know the person you could be?
is it right?
is it wrong?
because honestly we fall for the wrong people when the people who we actually fall for are the harder ones to leave.
you fall for the wrong person because it's what you think is right, but the question is, is it right?
you fall for the right person, because it feels right, but you don't know it, you don't want to know it, is it wrong?
nobody knows because we all make the same mistakes over and over.

is love real?
is it meant to  be this painful?
it hurts,
it hurts more than anything,
it feels like my heart is breaking into two,
is love meant to hurt like this?
mum always said if love hurts,
then you know that  what you feel is real.
but really, is it real, because right now my heart is shattered in to tiny little pieces.
i love you,
do you love me?
i'm hurt,
i'm broken,
is love meant to hurt?
is love real?
is it meant to be painful?
is it meant to feels like dying over and over again each time you see that person?

how do you love
someone
who doesn't know
the true you?
who doesn't give a ****
about the world
who wants to leave
this earth?

mummy never told me how
to love
daddy never told me how
to feel
mama never told me how
to touch
daddy never showed me how to
heal

do you get it?
it's my fault,
i know it's all my fault,
isn't it?
did i get a choice?
no,
no i didn't,
but i got her back,
and someone else special to,
is my fault?
no,
it's not,
it's yours,
if they hate me it's your fault.
you twist and turn words
and you make them believable.
what did i do to make you hate me so bad?
was it the fact that i told you the truth?
because that's what it was,
the truth.
if you don't like,
well tough,'
but i want my family,
and i'm going to fight,
my hardest to keep them this time,
because there the only people i have left.
so was it my fault?
was it yours?

thank you my love,
for giving me your heart,
i would give my heart
a thousand times over
before i let you go.

thank you my love,
for stealing my heart
just pretty please with a cherry on top
don't break my heart.
i would give you my heart
a thousand times over
before i let you let me go.

P r e t t y   p e o p l e
W i t h   p r e t t y   w o r d s
B u t   t h e y   a r e   u g l y
T h e i r    s p e e c h    i s    s l u r r e d

They never show
Their real emotion
While people watch
Their every motion

Everything they have
Is fake
If they'd notice
They would break

They're living in
A fake reality
They need to wake up
To actuality

We always talk
Behind their backs
If they knew
They would crack

They think we love them
They think they're pretty
But they really don't
Deserve our pity

P r e t t y   p e o p l e
W i t h   p r e t t y   w o r d s
B u t   t h e y   a r e   u g l y
T h e i r   s p e e c h   i s   s l u r r e d

~belinda rose lockwood~

promise to myself
i will not

t
e
a
r

myself

a p a r t
to make
someone else
WHOLE

i won't do it, not anymore, not ever again.
i'm sick of life i'm sick of living

it doesn't make sense
to let go of something
you had for so long
but it also doesn't
make sense
to hold on when there's
actually nothing there

I'm sorry
for the words that came out
of my mouth
the day you left this world
I didn't mean it
I said I hated you
untrue I was mad
you said you were never
coming back
I said to **** yourself
true you did
I didn't really want you to though
I never want to see you again
untrue, everyday is like
hell without you
you were my bug bro,
now I can never take those words back
can never say the words I love you again
I can never laugh with you again
I never got to say goodbye
I finally know what you meant when you said
goodbye
the hurt look you gave when you left the
room
it haunts me day and night
I want to be with you again
you were the only one who understood me
the only one I could talk to
and now the bond has been severed
no more laughter, no more fights
just loneliness
I know that I'll join you soon brother
but for now I'm sorry

i am so stuffed up,
i keep stuffing up,
it *****,
im crying all the time now,
emotionaly,
and every other possible thing imaginable

loser
a nobody
stupid
****
go die
ugly
idiot
you should never have been born
a good for nothing
you don't belong here
these aren't just words,
they're weapons,
they are like guns.
they put holes in you,
they **** you.
words break you,
bit by bit,
little by little
until one day
they're gone
you ask yourself why?
why him/her?
but it's not why you should be asking,
it's oh my god i killed him/her.
guns may **** fast,
but words **** slow
and painful
over and over again
until they're actually well and truly gone
and nobody can take it back,
it'll be too late.

They say
You don't know what
You've got till its
Gone
Truth:
You knew exactly
What you had you
Just thought
You'd never lose it

truth be told
I don't know what to do
I should have never said
the words
I love you.
because these feelings
they won't go away
I know
you love someone else
but really right now
I just wanna disappear
I know I've hurt you
i'm sorry, but please
I need you
I've already lost you twice
I can't lose you again
truth be told
I should never have been born
that way I would never have been
able to hurt you
so I guess this
goodbye
because honestly I love you
but you don't feel the same
I know
goodbye

people say i'm weak,
but really i'm strong,
weak?
no, i would've broke already,
weakness isn't actually weak,
it means your strong,
it means you can feel,
weak isn't weakness?
no it isn't,
it means your not fake,
it means you have emotions
weak?
don't know what that word means,
weak?
no way,
im strong
weak?
no i may break down sometimes,
but i'm strong,
weak?
no,
i don't know the meaning....
weak

What’s the point in life if all you feel is lonely and dead?
because if the only reason were alive is life, then what's the point.
because there is no life in the darkness.
there's just the feeling that your dying on the inside
it's the feeling of depression and it *****.
so what is the point of life if all you feel is lonely and dead?

why do i get bullied all the ******* time?
for my name,
my life?
why me?
i just don't understand,
why is it that people get bullied by people who are already getting bullied?
don't they know how it feels already?