Dropping, hitting, clunking,
Like a stone falling into the stomach.
All day long, it jumps and sinks.

Your indifference stings
Worse than my blisters,
And worse than your hate.

And like a child,
I cling to your side
And look in your eyes.

I am searching for love,
And acceptance,
But all I see is a blur.

All you show me
Is your disgust,
And all I feel is sorrow.

Why do I remain attached?
Love is the lock
To these gagging binds.

Everything I do is gross to you.
My whole existence
is gross to you.

"Mostly."

You are
The most marvelous marmalade
masquerading
in a jar of jelly
let me
run my fingers through
and get sticky
with your confetti

Forgo Summer to Die in the Winter


its quite alright that your a *****.
you should have never showed up last night
i thought I told you the score
repeat, repeat, repeat
a time or two before
dance this silly dance we do
back and forth
score for love, a score for secrecy  
we should have never held one another that close
electric and morose  
it's over and it can't be fixed
there is no coming back from abysm
instead I seek an important peace, within me,
and for us, for us
do you remember the us?  
wait, i heard you
no longer an us
we are nothing
as you say, as you say, as you say
but I held out for respect of a friend
none to be had
you show me how that can be done,
more lethal than a loaded gun  
sad me walks and walks alone, alone, alone again
you leave in silent steps
quiet tongue
as always
as always
no change
you say I confuse your truth for mean
you confuse my communication for gibberish
your ears go numb
you forget...
me
you act as if you don't know what to say...
to me
so much time to know me yet you remain amaurotic
you curtail and introvert  
deaf ears, hardened heart
questioning the tears
telling me to not roll them out
you wouldn't, why would I?
berating, blind, black-hearted
forgiveness is but a lark
It was important
I tried to tell you
I am sorry you chose to miss it
this is going to hurt...
it’s yours

I tend to forget to tend to my wounds, forever failure in focus
Self-improvement is out of scope.
You make me feel as if I should have succeeded, that the happiness came under false pretenses.

I tend to forget that laughter cannot be measured, neither the grounds on which they occur,
Nor the amount in which they are manifested.
All the happy times are irrelevant, because the ends don't justify the means.

I tend to forget that everyone, including the mentally disabled, desire to advertise their strength,
Their resolve in the face of the adversity between two people who
Claim to love each other, long after the love is gone.

I tend to forget that no one is as naive as either of us make them out to be, that none will
Absorb the previous problems at face value, and
That there are two sides to every coin, as all life suffers from the conflicts of dualities.

I tend to forget that your constant quest for social acceptance is what
Has made you a person uglier than you truly know.
I see through your act; an addiction to be validated, and your pretty portrayal to the spectators.

I tend to forget the analogies between dirt and flower, but no one stops to think that perhaps
The soil from which nature grows is more beautiful than what it blooms,
As it is the foundation, the core, the element, which is hidden from the pretension of the colorful.

I tend to forget how much I once desired to be the voice of reason, now the voice of rhyme.
Forever cursed to be well-versed in poetry.  And I know the reason why,
It is just a hypothesis, but I truly feel that there is method to my madness.

I tend to forget the discipline involved in making dual voices similar, one in sound,
Other in beat.  Like two hearts in conjoining cadence.  Reason
Does not do it all justice.  This is my way of making sense of it all.

I tend to forget that anything that grows together, flows together, such as the written words in verse.
The flowers may distance themselves from the dirt from which they arose,
I will remain below the sunlight, hidden in obscurity, watching the Heavens of your lies from the Hell of reality.

Don't
Don't ask her how she is
or tell her how she should be

Don't tell her it is ok

Don't tell her time will heal all
or tell her it gets better day by day

Don't tell her the pain will ease
and tell her not to cry

Don't ask her what is wrong
or why she is so off key

Don't tell her You love her

Tears will dry
Heart will heal

Love will die
Spirit will fade

Things will change
They always do

She loves
Feels
Learns

She isn't blind
Dumb
Or cruel

You want to help her?

You want to help her?

Then don't
Ask
Say
Tell
Or do

Most of all just


DON'T


Written By:  Niyahlove aka niyah2 revised 3/09/10
all rights reserved

And ever since that dark Wednesday
Your kiss is flat and empty
Maybe you'll never be coming back
Maybe you'll never come to save me

I am constantly reminded of you sourly-choiced absense
And I will not forget
The feeling I would get with one kiss

And every night
And every day
I dream about our past
Why can't these demons let me go to sleep?
Why can't you come back to save me?