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Apr 2021 · 114
Cold Inside
emmie Apr 2021
red cheeks
brown hair
with pretty blue eyes
and a skinny waist
and good grades.
but cold.
she shines as bright as the sun
to hide the fact that her body
is below freezing
below water
below ice
she tries to breath
to scream
to fight.
limbs wrap around her
pulling at
her hair
her arms
legs
clothes
heart.
the deep depth in which
every memory lies
is tangled
twisted
cracked
shattered.
still think you know her?
try again.
look in the mirror
tell me who you see
or, don't see.
blue cheeks
icy hair
with grey eyes
and a skeleton body
and who gives a f*ck?
cause you sure don't.
Apr 2021 · 1.2k
You Think You Lost Me
emmie Apr 2021
You think you lost me,
That's only half true
But I can't tell
If I still love you.

I still think,
What if I told you?
What if I said,
Can we take a moment,
And pause.

Take a step back,
Or maybe two
Because I don't know,
If I can trust you

Well actually,
I don't know
If I can trust myself

Tell me what to do,
And I'll promise
To stay with you

To stay by your side
I'll tell you how I feel

And put my life,
My trust,
And my love back into you,
and your beautiful soul.
Apr 2021 · 105
Questions
emmie Apr 2021
What happes when we die?
Where do our minds go?
Do they wander through our skull?
or just shut down once they enter the coffin?
Apr 2021 · 87
Someone I Decided to Love
emmie Apr 2021
Someone I decided to love
He was a mistake
That I would make time and time
Again.
He stripped me of my pain,
And dressed me in that warm fuzzy feeling.
He drenched sunlight on me,
As if he believed I was worthy of it.
He showed me so many things,
And then nothing.

Someone I decided to love
Gave me a pretty box with a bow
yet it was empty.
"You want to give me emptiness?"
"Yes, my love, that's what I have left."
He brought tears to my eyes.

Someone I decided to love,
Is now a stranger in the hall.
Apr 2021 · 135
Tears II
emmie Apr 2021
I stand in the rain
my boots getting wet,
waiting for you,
for it to stop,
but then I realize,
that it's my own teras
that are falling to the ground.
Apr 2021 · 131
Tears I
emmie Apr 2021
My cheek is streaked
with tears,
and my heart
is full of fears,
that you will not return.
Apr 2021 · 86
I left you because
emmie Apr 2021
I did not leave you to f*ck him,
I left you because I wasn't happy
I left you because you never made time for me
I left you because you said I was too clingy
I left you because you didn't appreciate me
I left you because you never texted back
I left you because you made me feel worthless

And now that I've left you,
You say that I sent nudes to other guys while we were together
You say that I lied to you
You say that I cheated
You say that I have nothing in common with you
You say that I am a *****
You say that I made a mistake that ****** you off

after we broke up.
Apr 2021 · 132
i gtg, bye
emmie Apr 2021
You always say that you have to go… but is it just that you don’t want to talk to me over text anymore? because … i gtg, bye
Apr 2021 · 545
F*ck You For:
emmie Apr 2021
Not telling me you care
Not responding
Not asking me if i’m okay
Never being the first one to talk
Not saying anything when I text you at night
Making me feel worthless
Making me hate my life
Lying
Making me sad
Making me feel like I care about you and like you more than you care about me and like me
Making me feel like it was my fault
Being the highlight and the lowlight of my day
Letting me down
Making me feel left out
Making me cry myself to sleep
Apr 2021 · 193
Break My Fall
emmie Apr 2021
He said that he would catch her
Come, he said
I’ll catch you

So she jumped
But he saw another
And left her to break

He said he would
Break my fall,
He lied, and I died.
Apr 2021 · 83
Sand and Stars
emmie Apr 2021
The sand I say,
is hard to hold
just like the stars

They are plentiful,
but picking just one
and keeping it
is hard

Somebody may have already
chosen that one
and lost it,
just as you will


So enjoy laying in the sand,
looking up at the stars,
as they will not last forever.
Apr 2021 · 79
Untitled
emmie Apr 2021
I need you,
more than you could ever know,
or need me back.

Because it’s so much worse
than you think it is.

To be me,
and to live my life,
is like living in hell,
right next to an unreachable
Heaven.

Because if you live like I do,
then you know what it’s like.

A demon,
living inside of you,

Scratching at your veins
to get out,
to escape.

But it’s trapped,
it always has been,
and it always will be;
because it’s NEVER getting out.
Apr 2021 · 71
The Pain Returns
emmie Apr 2021
My chest is burning,
My heart is racing,
My hands are shaking,
My mind is exploding

The pain,
Is back

The familiar choking,
Like a ghost has its hands wrapped around my throat

The non stop sweating,
Like the whole world is on fire, just for me

The throbbing in my head,
And the pounding of my heart,
Like a drum beating inside of my body

Does it ever stop?

The answer,
I’m afraid

Is no.
This poem is about my struggle with anxiety, and constantly having panic attacks. Me and my mom thought that it was just heart burn, but then I was diagnosed with severe anxiety.
Apr 2021 · 113
The Zoo
emmie Apr 2021
Through all this noise and color,
I’m the only one
who is silent
and faded

My skin shows up black and white,
like and old, forgotten tv show

Although I am not old,
I am forgotten
I am passed, by the ones who
loved me
cared about me
laughed with me

but most importantly,
by you

The zoo,
is no place
for someone who is forgotten
or someone who is old news

The zoo you said,
is not a place
for someone as dull
As you.
Apr 2021 · 781
You.
emmie Apr 2021
When I talk to you,
the world around us
just stops
it stops spinning,
people stop moving,
and it’s just you and me
here,
together

all I see is you,
all my troubles
doubts
and worries are left behind

because in this time
all that matters is you.
Apr 2021 · 95
Wonder
emmie Apr 2021
My music
blares softly
through the speakers

My feet,
cold
against my wood floors

I stand at my window
wondering,
are you looking
at the moon too?

Or are you asleep
Or maybe you’re just ignoring my text
that I sent to you
hours ago

I wonder,
why did you stop loving me
when,
how,
was it me?

I bet it was me.
Apr 2021 · 92
Surrender to the Pain
emmie Apr 2021
We lay here for hours,
Limbs tangled
Attached

The hunger to be closer eats away at our hearts
Every night is a surrender to the moon,
We take shelter under the stars
From the monsters down the hall

I lay here for days,
Body cold
Broken

The pain of the heartbreak rips at the eyes
Tears stream down my face,
I hide under the covers
From the evil in my head.

— The End —