expectation can cause frustration
and haunts all of us like an infestation
sometimes through parents and their oppression
or, in my case, I create my own expectation
by trying to be perfect in someone else's vision
when I know fully well that will lead to depression
perhaps it's just a result of misdirection
how would I know? there is just too much *confusion

to this day, I clearly remember
all the silly things I've done

every day holds a new reminder
of all the silly things I've done

many times I seriously regret
all the silly things I've done

many times I wish to forget
all the silly things I've done

I no longer wish to justify
all the silly things I've done

I want to go back in time
to stop the silly things I've done

I do not like masks
as they hide the truth
as I am left guessing
and I keep guessing wrong

I understand
that many wish to hide
their own bitter thoughts
behind their own mask

I use it too
but did I use it too much?
now am I too scared
to ever take it off?

every day I get the feeling
that I am invisible
sitting alone every day
and knowing I'm left out of the loop
and sometimes just thinking
what I could be doing with other people
when I'm actually just sitting here
wishing someone would walk up and say "hi"

my favorite nights
are nights like this

I can hear the wind
and feel the rain
and witness the clouds
storming away

the stars are gone,
covered by the sky
when I look up I can see
what's inside my mind

my favorite nights
are nights like these
where my thoughts
meet reality

Why do I get angry all the time?
I don't show it, but I really do have a temper
Is it because I am alone?
Secluded in my home whenever possible?
It the reason my knuckles still have wounds from the last wall I punched
Because I feel like no one understands?

Looking back... I can remember my foolishness
I thought I knew everything. I thought I figured everything out
I said some stupid things. Did idiotic acts
And then it took me long... Too long to realize
I knew nothing at all