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Xphaedos Feb 2018
Yowza, when I met you I was knocked off of my feet
Must’ve been that semi that had a brush with me
That was the beginning of our life together
A brush with death through the heather

Yowza, our second date
Was just as great
We were chased by a murderer
I was jealous - I’d never heard of her

Yowza, we locked our doors extra tight
As we got into bed that night
The both of us didn’t get much sleep
And the next day, we didn’t have much to eat

Yowza, I think she might’ve been the crazy ex you’re always talking about
The one that has our house programmed into her GPS route
She left a human head on our front porch
For reasons unknown, it was strangely scorched

Yowza, you closed the door quickly and brought it inside
The voice within me told me to hide
You smiled at the lifeless sockets
And you went and got a box of small rockets

Yowza, in the backyard you began a Satanic ritual
Telling me to sell my own soul
With a blood sacrifice, you opened a portal to Hell
I thought for sure this was a tale I wouldn’t be living to tell

Yowza, how did it all come to this?
I refused to sacrifice the head but you insist
I hope this proves my love to you
As I lay in the center of the circle for proof

        Yowza, the head began to glow and vanished in flame
When Satan came up, he spoke your name
“This sacrifice is not enough for me.”
And you turned to the only thing you could see

       Yowza, I resigned myself to being shoved through the gates of Hell
      All’s well end’s well
      Almost everything except
     You got back together with your ex

     Yowza, roses are red and I am blue
    One day, I’ll drag you down here, too
I wrote this in my creative writing class. We were given conversation heart candy and had to make a story or a poem started with the word on the candy. My conversation heart said Yowza! This is the product.
Ted Scheck Mar 2013
She knew, right afterward.
Amazing.
She knew.
I took her word for it.


Oo-Oo-Oocyte!
The largest, roundest cell
Females have. It is
Visible to the eye
Clothed or nakey.
With the largest surface
Volume in relation to
Her cell-fluid-gorged surface.
One is produced ea/month.
One?
Yowza.

Me?
Millions of the little buggers.
Millions! Yeah! THAT’s
The ticket!
And tiny those little tickets are.
Hardly more than a nucleus with
That powerhouse of the cell,
The Mitochondrial outboard motor,
Propelling the tail.
The smallest and straightest
Human cell
(Cool tail, though)

The juxtaposition is kind
Of amazing.
Large vs. small.
Roundest vs. straightest.
Tail-propelled nucleus
Vs.
Moon-shaped cytoplasm.
The opposite, embryologically-
Speaking.
And she was positive,
POSITIVE
We’d conceived.
Roughly 9 months later,
I was there. Physically.
The rest of me was
Possibly sunning in Togo.
Kind of freaked me out,
The birthing process,
The first time.
My son. My baby boy.
Our child.
5/28/91.

I’m more proud and more
Astonished at the man
My little baby has grown into
With each passing day.
Golden child, beginning
Life with blonde hair,
Almost white, darkening
As he grew into the French-
Indian DNA of his
Mom’s side of the family.

He is so much like
His Mother, for which
I’m very happy,
Because his Mother
Is simply amazing
And worthy of an entire
Slew of poems just
To describe her.

And I’ve another
Golden child
Gold blessing vein running
True and deep, different
Than his older brother
Of seven years,
Yet similar, opposite in
Some ways, having grown strong
As the little plaything for
His older brother’s friends,
Making him very tough,
Strong as a team of oxen,
A work ethic he inherited
From Dad, Mom, Brother

Yet fitting together as
Loving siblings can
When they have God
At the center of their lives.

Thank You, God, for
My two sons.
I’m protective, but I know
They do not belong to me.
They are Your blessings
To my wife and me.
They are Your blessings
To this world, set in motion,
Wound up to take what they see
And make it better, and
To prevent it from getting worse.
They will do Your work.
We were the biological
Vessels that delivered
Them from Your world
Before
To this world,
Now.
Joe Butler Nov 2010
Twisting

Slithering

A never-ending chaotic morass

Winding through

No sooner does the light of dawn bleed over the horizon

Than the shadowy form of dread

Eclipses and quenches the fledgling beam

Waging a constant battle

Darkness always seemingly victorious

or...

Ba da da ba

Juxtapose the extremities

Daddy-o

The slicker downs a bottle of rye

Hits the open road in a beat up coupe

Off to see that daring young man

On the flying trapezoid

Zoom - zap - yowza

Upside

Downside

Thru the water

Ellipsis!!

Awakening

Comes

Slowly

But

Inevitably

Like

the inexorable process

Of

continental d r i f t

Self-awareness

Dawns upon the unsuspecting soul

Crashing down

Edifice of  substance

No more.
So its a Saturday night, and you haven't got any plans
You're bored of watching TV and all the hate programs
The poster of George Bush has no place for more knives
How long before you can take some American lives!

So then turn on your computer and start the browser
Go to a nice **** website, and you'll be like, Yowza!
All the envy and the hate that always bugs
will melt away once you see a good pair of jugs!

Don't hate don't hate, just *******!
Don't hate don't hate, just *******!

So what if your dad would break your neck
if he ever saw you jiggle your third leg
Even a pious man like you's gotta get his release
and when it feels this good, O Yes please!

Don't hate don't hate, just *******!
Don't hate don't hate, just *******!

You tried talking to a girl you saw the other day
You hoped she was pretty under all those veils
So she hit you with her sandal, what did you expect
Come watch some ****, the girls there are nice as heck!

Don't hate don't hate, just *******!
Don't hate don't hate, just *******!

Americans can wait, they ain't going nowhere
they're so fat anyway, they make Arabs look like hares
Come make friends with your own hands
I promise, there's nothing better in all the sands!

Don't hate don't hate, just *******!
Don't hate don't hate, just *******!

A tissue and lubricant is all you need
The pleasure is really worth the time indeed!
Doesn't matter what you like, its all out there!
All sizes and shapes, even goats if you care
Even a ***** magazine will do just fine
So sit back, relax and give your best friend a good shine!
Hate, bad. Pleasure, good.
Jonny Angel Sep 2014
Oooohhh take me,
take all of me,
choke on your
burning desires.
That's right,
don't fight me.

Oooohhh baby,
what's the matter,
kitty cat got your tongue?
Meow...meow.

Oooohhh, we're having
some real good fun now.
Yowza!

Will you look at that rush!

Ohhhhhhh your starry-eyes
are forever imbedded
in my mind
& you should know by now
my lovely doll face,
every picture tells a story...

— The End —