It hits me after alcohol And major social events That I have to be a good person And I feel almost scared that I may not be So I go over everything and message people I miss And analyse what happened and try to inspect Hidden areas of my personality And prepare for what I will do next In this life that throws me around This feeling reminds me of Japan I call it ‘the come down’ The direct opposite of the word genki Derived from the high of seeing new It feels unforgivably overwhelming I feel wrong or not right or perfect And I worry what everyone thinks And says about me and I try and Cheer myself on to stop being silly But it’s like a black cloud over me Or a black puddle under my feet And I tell myself if I pretend it’s not there I won’t entertain it and make it worse But it always lingers until damage is done It saddens me that last night I spent the night With my hero and still it feels like a lightning strike Aimed for me this morning when he left I know I should be happy I got to stay And spend such a good time with him But I don’t feel safe to bare my feelings And I can’t help but regret it all Because my instinct says he will drop me Like an apple falling from the hand Of a passer-by because they weren’t concentrating And I’ll be alone again, cruising So that’s as far as my hopes will go in this mood If you have any visions of a better future From another mood that’d be good to hear So you can send me away from here
