Porsche Newell
Porsche Newell
Apr 7, 2014

moved to allpoetry.com

The original purpose of the polar bears: Polar bears are capable of carrying platters, harvesting carrots & stacking bricks. The original polar bears, along with the original eskimos, lived a manor house/servant or upstairs/downstairs existence. New archaeological evidence I just dug up proves that polar bears lived as migrant laborers in service to eskimos.

Cori
Cori
Feb 19, 2014

If you’ve only ever smelled fir trees covered with freshly fallen snow-
then you haven’t smelled it.
It’s an acquired smell, for sure.
It comes just in between the whiffs of
mashed potatoes
mashed carrots
mashed peas
mashed turkey
hell, mashed ginger-ale for all I know. . .
Somewhere amongst that microwaved menagerie, masked with the smell of eau de toilette,
it lives, and smells sweeter the longer brown sugar bubbles on top of caramelizing yams.  

If you can’t smell it, maybe you can find it.
Not many can, or do.
It hides in plain sight, though.
A lost and found box with accumulated cobwebs - everything still unclaimed.
A flyer for free puppies that no one ever took because they were “too much responsibility.”
Maybe there aren’t enough seekers in this game of empty rooms and blank guest books.
But keep looking, until bingo prize hand-me-downs after school plays look like Oscars.
You won’t see it until it makes you believe that plastic Mardis Gras beads are Tiffany-blue boxes.

It’s not so much in the nose, or the eyes as it is in the endurance.
Endure the voiceless Glenn Miller until his brass bellows become her voice -
whispering “I love you”  to the effortless rhythm of “Moonlight Serenade.”
And imagine her,
swapping her orthopedics for black heels,
elegantly taking Pop’s hand as he helps her up from her wheelchair,
to join him for just one more dance.
Watch as they become the sepia-colored couple in every anniversary photo.
That black dress.  Those fake pearls.  
The crescendo of the band.
It’s hard to miss when it’s screaming at you.

re was a minister who ordered a pair of dentures. People wondered why his sermons got lo
Hilda
Hilda
Jun 10, 2013

There was a minister who ordered a pair of dentures. People wondered why his sermons got longer and longer. Finally they discovered he had ordered a pair of women's dentures.

She'll fight those oil-soaked bastards with their 87 wives & 600 children, their wells, oil derricks & defiant ways.
   Father: His name was Mr. Daddy!  Father smoked the last of the Raleigh cigarets & made a bee line for the out house. He was going in there & at the same time he'd be going in there. It's a complicated world I learned from that little bit of English.
   Denture-Swapping Club...Dear Fat Larry, my moldy, old mother recently joined a denture-swapping club...I like to watch bldgs. implode but hate all that dust & smoke occluding my view! Can't something be done?
   No, so shut up about it.
   After-dinner cop talk: “Piggy, you gonna wash
that shit off from wallowing in the mud?”
   “You're under arrest for calling a cop Piggy.”
   Denture-swapping wife-style: it's not like going
to the hot dog hut to do the wiener dance.

She'll fight those oil-soaked bastards with their 87 wives & 600 children, their wells, oil derricks & defiant ways.
   Father: His name was Mr. Daddy!  Father smoked the last of the Raleigh cigarets & made a bee line for the out house. He was going in there & at the same time he'd be going in there. It's a complicated world I learned from that little bit of English.
   Denture-Swapping Club...Dear Fat Larry, my moldy, old mother recently joined a denture-swapping club...I like to watch bldgs. implode but hate all that dust & smoke occluding my view! Can't something be done?

Coffee carefully reclaimed during final cycle of used denture cleansing process, perfectly clean & fresh & absolutely legal in Georgia. You'll say: “Hey, this coffee has a slight denture odor to it, my God I love it!” Fat Larry for years has been discarding this coffee as a waste product. Can you believe it? My Lord, if ever anyone was guilty of a crime it was Fat Arse Larry during the coffee-dumping days I can tell you! But that's all behind him now, trickling down his butt quicker than a mother's hesitation. You live out your years in Florida wondering how to end it: a bullet, some pills, carbon monoxide what? Then like a ton of shit it hits you: I'll go on living this hollow death for the benefit of Fat Larry. The best course of action is to end life on his say-so: a sign, a fart, whatever. God bless Larry: the fat-ass dago, ex-queer bitch.Don't be let out in the cold drink FAT LARRY'S SECRET-RECIPE COFFEE! Coffee carefully reclaimed during final cycle of used denture cleansing process, perfectly clean & fresh & absolutely legal in Georgia. You'll say: “Hey, this coffee has a slight denture odor to it, my God I love it!” Fat Larry for years has been discarding this coffee as a waste product. Can you believe it? My Lord, if ever anyone was guilty of a crime it was Fat Arse Larry during the coffee-dumping days I can tell you! But that's all behind him now, trickling down his butt quicker than a mother's hesitation. You live out your years in Florida wondering how to end it: a bullet, some pills, carbon monoxide what? Then like a ton of shit it hits you: I'll go on living this hollow death for the benefit of Fat Larry. The best course of action is to end life on his say-so: a sign, a fart, whatever. God bless Larry: the fat-ass dago, ex-queer bitch.

! Stop Dad from gagging with gag-ending dentures. Eat, sleep, shower & shave with no-sli
GOYIM ON SATURN

...your choice of colors, many available with super elastic, ventilated crotch panels. For the holidays Santa's Helper & Mrs. Claus' Secret --- green & red tree-scented 8-inch devices for fatigued arms & calves. For Xtians: cheese her, please her—8 exciting, holiday-wrapped pkgs. of imported cheeses fr. Mexico, very greasy—she'll love it! Thinking of Dad? That son-of-a-bitch! Try Fat Larry's Used Denture Gag Gifts! Stop Dad from gagging with gag-ending dentures. Eat, sleep, shower & shave with no-slip hair pieces as seen on Fat Larry! Traveling to Vietnam? Book your flight or die gook die thru Fat Larry's travel agency.

 
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