everything about you
your eyes piercing mine
your glares in response
to my warm smiles
made me bleed inside
when i go home at night
and think of you
i sit in my bedroom
with my razor in hand
and start cutting
little beads of blood appear
to me it's just a red liquid
to others it signifies pain
to me it means relief
from pressure and stress
it's one of the only times
i can disappear
from my familiar surroundings
and vanish into a world
without pain

today when i
went to the library
with my older sister
i was thinking of you
thinking of how you
said you loved me
i remembered how
i used to come here
and text you or talk
to you on my cell
but now you moved away
and i cannot reach you
on the phone
when i text you
you never reply
and so i am going
through the hardest pain
of missing you

that piece of music
reminds me of you
whenever i play it
i don't think
you'll ever
come back to me
so i'll never
be able
to listen to
that song with you
so i guess
i'll stop
listening to it

you used to
be my angel
i loved you
but when you
left and never
came back
i loved you
even more
and i'm still
waiting
for your love

my love never
ever died for you
even when yours
died for me
i still miss you
and love you
please come back

my phone
types my poetry
it helps me to
pour out my feelings
and vent my thoughts
my phone helps me
to write the things
that are stored
inside my broken heart

i like to write about
everything that
reminds me of you

the pain never
goes away
and the scars
never heal
broken glass
is all that
remains of
my broken heart

no one cares
that i hurt inside
no one seems to care
about the pain i hide
no ones ever cared
it would be much better
if i just died

they help me
spill out my
emotions
with pen
and paper
in hand
fingers
grasping ink pens
wounded heart
no longer bleeding
but left to heal
from its pain
and wounds
and at night
when thoughts
come to mind
notebooks
pour out the
words from
my heart

the wounds
you left
in my scarred
heart are greater
than the scars
i wear on
my wrists
i'm feeling
so depressed
because you're
miles away
and i'm sitting
here all alone

yesterday
i went rummaging
through a box of photos
i happened to accidentally
find a photo of your
most handsome profile
i nearly threw up
the thought of seeing you
made me feel sad
and made me feel
like throwing up
tonight i think
i'll burn that picture of you
along with any other
photos of us or you
i hate thinking about it
and how you made me happy
leave me, ben
i remember how
i loved you
yet you hurt me
go away!
i never want
to see
your photo again
ever

i sipped the potion
waiting for a change
it was laced with your love
but you hate me now
and now i know
that things will never be the same
because i'm waiting for your love
but you hate me
and your hatred
is like poison to my broken heart

i have been
through so much
pressure in life
that i just
feel weak
and sick
and sad
i just feel
miserable
my body
tells me
to give up

you always
remind me of
a puzzle piece
i can never quite
figure you out

whenever i hear
that song on the radio
in the store while i'm shopping
tears sting my eyes
and i begin to cry
tears blur my vision
and i start to cry
because that song
reminds me of you
we used to listen
to that song together
even hum a few lines
so whenever i hear
that song on the radio
while i'm shopping
with my older sister
tears sting my eyes
and i give into them

my eyes are red from
all the tears i've cried
my wrists are red
but healing with time
the wounds on my heart
are fresh and raw
and that'll probably
be the only part of me
that may not ever heal

sometimes i regret
that i ever fell
in love with you
but then i realize
i am grateful for
the time i had to
spend with you
and for the painful
memories i have made

i feel relaxed
each time
i vent
my feelings
and usually
when i write
its all
about you
and how
my heart
longs for
your love

sadness is more
than just a tear
you wipe away

the tears keep falling
sometimes i don't
even know why
i just keep on crying
i weep sometimes
and cry until i can't
sadness always hurts

scarred hands
grip the pencils
while tears trickle
down my cheeks
and wet the paper
my slanted eyes
are blind with
the tears i've cried
darling, you made
my heart bleed

they lace my arms
from where i used to cut
my wrists with a steel blade
just recently
because i was thinking of you
and my heart is so scarred
it is broken
and it will never heal

i like it
even though i
get bullied on
and called names
because i want to learn
and i am always learning
new things at school
school is also for
making mistakes
and i make
plenty of them
because we
can learn
from our
mistakes what
to do better

school is out now
more time to write
more time to roam
it is sweet but sad

i'm screaming out
my pain
tears streaming
down my red cheeks
i'm hot from
getting all worked up
but i can't help it
i scream with all my might
until i loose my voice
tears fall from my eyes
soaking my jeans
and hitting the floor

i hurt so much
i could scream
and when my family
goes shopping
and leaves me here
all alone
i do scream
let out all my pain
i hurt secretly inside
everybody cares but you
and it's so painful
i wail and wail
i weep and lament for you
but then i remember
you don't care
and i scream
scream it out
scream out all my pain
it makes me feel better
but leaves me weak
and it's all thanks to you
because you left me
all alone
and no one understand
because it seems
no one cares
in my real life
or they don't want
to care
because they offer
no understanding
and so
i scream
scream it out
i yell until my lungs hurt
because i scream
i scream out all of my pain
while tears course down
my red cheeks
and fall to my jeans
the tears keep falling
from my slanted eyes
and sweat moistens
my black hair

the smell of woodsmoke
fills the cold
and bitter air

sometimes
i just wish
you'd simply
love me again
but i guess it
won't ever
happen
it's too
late

your words
of hatred
sting like salt
upon my broken heart

i have stopped
cutting but
i haven't stopped
hurting inside
my heart is still
broken

they fill my cheeks
and sting my slanted eyes
they wet my ebony black hair
and are left to dry in my eyelashes
today i cried because i was thinking of you

yesterday
i burnt that
silver ring
the one that
you gave me
when you
promised me
that you'd
never leave
my side
but you did
you lied
you hurt me
yet i still
acted nice to you
what for?
just to get broken
all over again

i drew out
my steal blade
and slashed
my wrists
blood bubbled
from my skin
and trickled
down my arm

everybody likes
that locket of mine
with its jeweled heart
but i stopped wearing it
i stuffed it in my jewelry box
because it contains your picture
and if you had loved me you wouldn't
have moved away
you would have texted me
you would have called me today
but instead you still ignore me
even though you have moved away
it doesn't matter
because i don't have
any friends anymore to
be betrayed by
because i only had you

hands clutching
pencils with
a firm grip
bent over my
black notebook
and suddenly
i find myself
thinking about you
and i cannot help
but cry right now
the tears keep falling
but i brush them away
and try my very best
not to show my
inner struggle
my battle of pain

today my heart
felt empty inside
i felt so miserable
i miss you
do you know it?
you probably do
and just don't care
you're in love with her
it is obvious
other students can tell
you don't like
me anymore
i sat at my desk
tears blurred my vision
and spilled onto
my school papers
i felt like running away
or disappearing
because you are there
i can't get you
out of my sight
or out of my head
you're always there
smiling across the room
at her
you were my only
true friend
now i have
lost you
because you
ignore me
and now
i haven't any friends
and that is why
you see me
huddled in the corner
of my bedroom
alone

to see you again
would be both
sad and happy
it would remind me
of what i couldn't have
i don't think
i'd even want
to see you again
it would be too painful
for me
and i know
i'd end up in tears
because right now
i'm crying
just thinking about it
no, i don't want
to see you again
ever

so many people
feel the pain
yet so little people
do not seem
to understand
even if
deep down inside
they really do
at least
they don't show it

they took me
into a ***** room
with purple lights
and there they left me
now i'm trapped and
can't get out

they placed me
upon an old trunk
and it was there
i saw a picture
of you
and sad loving
memories return

the lights grew
dimmer and
the room went
dark
but the
picture of
you glowed

i found
your notebooks
and as i thumbed
through them
i cried

your picture glowed
in this dark place
not a light to be
seen
except
your glowing
portrait

i found
the bottle of
sweet cologne
that you used
to wear
and i realize
that
*i miss you

why did you
leave me all
alone?
you've gone
away without
even saying bye
how could you?
but, never mind
it doesn't matter
i'll secretly miss
you dearly though
and love you with
all of my heart

i keep wishing
you were here
but you never
will be and that
is what hurts
that is what cuts
so very deeply
when will you
come back, love?
oh, that's right
you never will

you don't
care anyway
so what's
the point in living?
since you're not here
you wouldn't even know
or care to know
if i died
so what is the point
in even trying to live?