Vision is watery, eyes completely flushed
Viewing the solid ground, shoe kicking the dust
Limiting correspondence with those who I struggle to trust
Head Hotter than the Earth's crust, I bond with the flames for fun
Rejection is rough, especially when your reflection stares at you because you're the only one

Fiddle with this pen as if I'm going to be famous someday
Extend each vocal to fully grasp what consist of my pain
Some angel's say I'll breeze through the thunder and rain
This is what I gain from rearranging my life around, to be vomiting a crucial weight
If I express the motive for freshness, God might notice my patience
While I'm waiting for a key to see the other side of the gate
My entire soul I give, but sick of my current suffering, feeding off the negative trait
Obtaining a family ticket to a new world
Probably the only place I'll ever meet a girl
Sometimes my mental state is on the north pole
But soon I'll propose to a heavenly ghost
A spot for Edward to go forward
Metaphorically a cell that consistently grows

Laudatory remarks for a young fella who was ahead of his time
Influential because he share his ideas as you read each detailed line
Noted predictions about the generations as he changed my mind
Kindred spirit and gave my family motivation before he died

Memory as he spoke to fake OG's(Original Gangster)
Through his writings, the future he could see
Everything about a clan he desired to lead
Especially his destiny to write poetry
But being there for others gave him no time to breath

A young heart with an old soul
Spoon filled with his will, cleared the bowl
Formed with credence, but how did he know?
Almost like he reached the stars as well as the ground below
Some couldn't understand him, but his presence will forever show
That life is a privilege, now you watch my words glow
Not focused on flow but meaning that is hiding in a pile of gold

The only person who had a life that was worse
Those who didn't believe him when he said he was cursed
Didn't just want to change the world, but soon meet a girl
Never happened but noticed his Heaven's referral

People changed how they act, but of course, some do still act black
Girls no longer attract guys that fail to give them a pat on the back
Maybe our existence is tragic, but stand laughing
Because some elements have to be sad

Every dawn I yawn quiet, florescence I inhibit softly
A clear image I peep, nature settles calmly
Her intentions are infectious like a blossomed flower
Reminds me of a family member who meet God at the calling hours
Kindred spirit fully defined the character she was
I inherited the genetics, only reason I still search for love

But moments I'm impatient because there is not much time
Predicting a future analysis, for a young guy it's surprising
Maybe it's my fatal dreams that scream to me
I hope I at least find a woman I adore passionately
When I'm shook with hesitation, I feel the wind grabbing me
Pulling me with motivation to hopefully find my destiny

Dear Heavenly Father, I give you my props
Even though I walked without confidence and stumbled a lot
I will forever praise you as you raised me
Continue striving and even after my heartbeat suddenly stops
Showing my appreciation because you're the only one who truly cared for me
You did make me suffer, but for a good cause
To make me stronger and improve my many flaws
Failed connections I made because I misunderstood how I came across

The surface we stand on is never expected to be perfect
Please heal those who once made me feel worthless

I rest in your closed arms, a home I truly belong
My illness happened for a reason, you were the answer all along

Socially unorganized, I place critics down a size
Standing with preferred confidence gave me insight
Partially adapted from the root of fear
I sometimes hear my inner voice remarking that my time is near

Position to overcome challenging courses
By altering our contained nature to make stronger choices
Often at the mill I witness the loud of noises
I either adjust or continue breathing in the poison and drown in my salty ocean


Maybe tears can be manufactured through happy times
Is it weird I fake my laughter through your own surprises

Some may question my ability to think and process
I reveal the sources to my brightened conscience

Assemble the many gears we set in stone
Ever wonder what's it's like to be thrown?

My past creates a memory lane for me to see
I rather improve my empathy willing to still believe

In love with a spirit because I glance swiftly while there is no in sight
Passport to find true family as I hunch over my seat, in hopes to discover actual happiness during a safe flight

Zenith from a telescope
Chose this device at times to view the slightest hope
Fractured elements of my past seem to have their grip
For a brief time to reflect on struggle as rain starts to drip

Having faith that a single memory would significantly improve you
Captivating true affection for somebody special because I don't want to lose you
Proving that my worthiness is not minuscule, I approach with warm intentions
In the same field I'm fading desperately in need for attention
Not to mention I have Dysthymia, a ligament to severe depression

Regardless of my atmosphere, I remain strong
So when I finally meet a girl, she can say I was the right one all along
Usually I'm up before dawn thinking of her future presence
Been riding solo for 20 years, digging myself out of the hole I fell in

I made negative choices that brought me near a closed door
All the pain I go through speaks to the ones already in storage
Collected notes and journals locked away when my tears start to pour
Difficult for me to accept the fact I'm distant from the girl I adore

Broken artificially due to the chemicals that consumed me during birth
Thanks to Mom I'm cursed with lack of blood flow when I'm trying to learn
Aggravation reached it's ****** while I roast and burn
At work their explanations are never clear and firm
Only answer is God until I eternally yearn

From 1998, I was born while my existence was pronounced a fluke
Evil twin, though an age gap, I sat myself flat after physical abuse
I salute to the man who fouled my head off a saw slitter
Mad man with a given temper only persuaded my blood flow thinner

Excessive ******* to where I pull the trigger
On Christmas, his fellow friends prolonged the demon’s dinner
Couple of high school kids much bigger than what I have figured
He now remains in the same place with revenge waiting to be delivered

A young 5th grade minor feeling the wrath of a swinging guitar
I was unaware at the time that his conscience was dark
Pull blown sparks being targeted towards his front yard
Retaliation wasn’t needed until your intentions were meant to harm

Actions were not taken vital, I resume to the ride the waves
I don’t have the time to waste my patience for a guy not willing to change
I don’t care if he was my cousin or a tall male with long range
Performing mature decisions became my open door to walk away

Peculiarities are seen Hence their life is angelic
Gifts and presents are always bound for credit

She taught me, it's the thought that counts
I always stay loyal to her, her love carries 50 pounds

Her voice is infectious when she sings
Momentary gazing I fastened, warmth she brings

My life was perfect until she suddenly held her hand with another guy
Left me puzzled I was reaching the ****** of wanting to die

Silent cries soft spoken, while I woke up from the dream and sighed
I thought it was supposed to be you and I, now my misery is quantified

2 weeks ago I had that dream, from that point, I was weary
Death is scary to some, but I find it sweet, if it was me in my dictionary

I need a woman near me so I don't foul play my life to take
Shaking my time span sustainable, this is the Devil's game