You are not ready for this kind of love. I agree. I've been there before.

In my case I ran away but I'm not letting you do same.

I honestly don't know what is propelling me love you so.

I used to play around when a lady is unsure of the state of her heart and that made me pursue other ladies.

That isn't me now, I can't let a good lady walk away from my life.

Honestly a side of me wants to give it all up because there are other wonderful persons in my life that can make a good wife.

But the side that wants you is greater than all.

Reason for loving you and can't even find one. Is it looks? No, I've know many beautiful ladies with looks some time back in my life but I never met you.

Is it intelligence? No, I've sat in class with extremely intelligent ladies but you were never in my class.

Is it ? No, I've with some time back in my life and they all didn't have a problem offering. Never did you offer and never had it crossed my mind to compel you to offer.

Is it love? No, I'm passionate about people and on a regular day, I love people. But I realised that sometimes I love, hate and love again.

Is it money? No, there have been good times and in the bad I only dated rich ladies. But that never made me stay when I had to leave.

So what is it that makes me love you so? You! If you're loved and happy, it brings me so much joy and my heart is glad.

Life is all about living for others and if you help others find that which they are searching for,  you will find yours in return.

In the crucible of life's disappointments,
I've been shattered time and again,
My past, a relentless specter haunting my present.

All I've known is the rush of fear,
As I yearn for a sanctuary to call my own,
A safe haven amidst the chaos.

Do I appeal to the gods for answers,
Or embark on a quest to find solace?
A sanctuary where my spirit can roam freely,
Or an oasis of tranquility to soothe my troubled soul.

Despite my vow to be gentle with myself,
I find myself swallowing bitter pills of memory,
Unable to leap for joy when confronted with the past.

I've been led to believe that my past shapes my future,
Yet the universe seems intent on draining me dry,
Leaving only the ember of happiness within.

In search of a refuge to conceal my scars,
I find it staring back at me from within,
My inner self, a sanctuary waiting to be embraced.

Within your chest, an agonizing ache resides,
A relentless burn until the blood within congeals.
Outside, beads of sweat form upon your brow,
Inside, an unquenchable thirst begins to gnaw,
A longing that begs for satiation.

Your mind besieged by unyielding thoughts,
Refusing release, refusing freedom's embrace.
Obsession tightens its grip, seizing control,
Leaving you feeble, leaving you defenseless.
The torment persists, and so does the heart's agony.

It blazes on, flames of torment licking at your soul,
Deeper than comprehension, scorching your essence.
You feel its searing heat, its unforgiving intensity,
Yet all you can do is endure, resigned to its grasp.

Within the walls of your heart, let me dwell,
Fed by the nourishing stream of your love's embrace.

In the gentle rain of your joy's tears,
And the tender touch of your caring grace,

My roots ache to burrow deep,
Into the fertile soil of your soul's terrain.

From there, may my spirit rise,
Blossoming with the hope of your gentle gaze.

As the leaves of my being unfurl with optimism,
And the flowers of unity bloom in vibrant array,

I shall thrive where my essence belongs,
Despite the thorns of trials and doubts.

For within your heart lies my sanctuary,
A haven where love's essence forever sprouts.

In the echoes of our shared history's call,
Moments painted with hues, memories enthrall.
Yet truth's gaze reveals, we never kissed,
Souls entwined, in silence, they subsist.

Whispers softly sigh, of what could be,
Hearts dancing beneath the sky, free.
Lips ne'er met in passion's fiery claim,
Yet our bond, unspoken, remains the same.

Through time's corridors, we softly tread,
In memories' tapestry, our love's thread.
Where love once sprouted, now seeds of doubt,
Yet beauty lies in what we're still about.

It might seem we had history's gleam,
Moments describe us, or so it may seem.
But truth be told, we never did partake,
Wake from the dream, for love's sake.

From the moment I said yes,
I started swallowing them whole,
Each day, hoping for relief,
Yet the bitterness only grew.

My heart, once so hopeful,
Began to falter under the weight,
Of expectations and illusions,
Of what love was supposed to be.

With each passing day,
The dosage increased,
My mind reeled at the toll it took,
Yet I kept swallowing, hoping for a cure.

Rejection became a bitter dose,
Lies, a bitter aftertaste,
Secrecy, a poison in disguise,
All masked by the promise of love.

And yet, each time I go for a checkup,
The doctor sends me home with many pills.
I begin to lose my hope.
But like a drug, I am hooked in there.

Therapy whispers of a healing mind,
But what of the heart, still confined?
Is there a pill for the love I resigned?
Silent echoes, a heart left behind.

She woke up in the middle of the night
Something is taunting her in her dream
But this is not just a dream,

You wake up to go about your normal day.
This is not just a thought,
You can scroll up or down on your phone.

This is warfare.

Wake up and pray.

The enemy is not visible
I have eyes but I see not
I have ears but I hear not
I have senses but I sense not.

How do you win something you cannot see, hear, nor feel.
If what is hunting you is of the mind,
Where can you run to safety?

The world is 2023
And I'm still running
Nowhere to hide

The unreachable riches
Who can find?
He kept it above
Far beyond the reach of man
And releases it upon request.

The wisdom of God who can attain
Riches and honour are its fruits
And its seeds are true and durable
The blessings they bring, numerous
And its roots abides above.

In His wisdom He kept her above
And in her exploits are His delights
Yet many pursue the riches of men
Which fades away like the dying flower
And its hope remains in itself.

There are things that men can give
Houses and riches are an inheritance from men
Others can steal to have them
But a prudent wife is from the Lord.
You can't inherit such a kind of wife

Nor compel one to be yours
Unless she's given you from the Lord
She can never be yours
He hides her far above the reach of men
And gifts her to His sons.

A part of me shatters me into fragments.
Another part gathers those fragments and consumes them.
This inner conflict consumes me entirely.

The demons within are daunting to confront,
As are the fears that haunt me,
Tainting everything I find beautiful.

Facing these demons is the toughest trial I've faced

No matter how hard I attempt to flee,
For when what haunts you is of the mind,
Where can you seek refuge?

I fight battles I know I'm stronger than,
Yet I lose fights I know I'm meant to win.
These failures overwhelm me,
Burrowing deep into the fertile soil of my soul.

Save me, Spirit within,
Strengthen me, grace given,
Stand by me, Word of God,
And grant me victory, Authority given.

The desires within,
The need,
The urge,
The longing,
The fury,
To break free,
To be unshackled,
To be released,
And to be liberated.

In the garden of existence, like a rose in bloom,
Hope unfurls its petals, radiant and sublime.
Yet, as fate intervenes, plucking its tender form,
It yields to mortality's touch, gracefully resigned.

But does death mark the end, the final decree?
Or does it echo the cycle of life's eternal plea?
For in the quiet surrender of a kernel's fall,
Lies the promise of resurrection, hope's clarion call.

Beyond the confines of mortal decree,
Hope transcends, boundless and free.
While death may claim its transient sway,
Hope endures, casting shadows away.

As seasons turn and trees shed their guise,
Their stumps decay, under nature's guise.
Yet, with the whisper of water's embrace,
New life emerges, in a wondrous chase.

For every tree, there lies hope's embrace,
In every withered leaf, a promise of grace.
Just as the tree finds solace in renewal's spree,
Hope abounds, an eternal decree.