Born one thousand nine hundred and, ninety-three years ago today.
I am a millenial.
I turn thirty before May.
I must admit, I am in denial.

Where has the time gone?
It feels like just yesterday,
When I was still young.
When I had my twenty first birthday.

How am I so old?
Yet so unprepared,
For the woes of this world.
Neither seen, nor heard.

Dreams not reached.
Living a life not anticipated.
Dreams forsaken and ditched.
Feeling discriminated,

For being a failure.
I did not ask for this!
At heart, I am a creator,
Yet stuck in a career that brings me no bliss.

How did I get here?
My whole life feels like a mistake.
I wish to disappear.
I need a break.

Thirty years.
Three decades.
A million tears.
Time burns faster than flames.

And I am through with it all.
My ******* have sagged.
My twenties are now stuck behind some wall.
I miss the life I could have had.

Born one thousand nine hundred and ninety-three years ago today.
I am a millenial.
I turn thirty before May.
I must admit, I am in denial.

If my loneliness could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get some friends!"

If my depression could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get some antidepressants!"

If my anxiety could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Take a chill pill!"

If my sorrow could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Find some happiness!"

If my bank account could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Find a side hustle!"

If my career could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, bye.
Where is the bag we've been chasing?"

If my ****** could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get a ****. Seriously!"

If my car could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Upgrade already!"

If my lungs and liver could talk;
They would say,
"*****, we're tired.
Find a new coping mechanism!"

If my brain could speak;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Stop thinking!"

If my stomach could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Stop over eating!"

If my lungs could talk;
They would say.
"Girl, stop.
Stop with them cigarettes!"

If my phone could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Get a life!"

If alcohol could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Leave me the **** alone, your body is rejecting me!"

If my body could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, I'm overweight.
Please hit the gym!"

If the color black could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Wear something else!"

If my heart could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, forget him.
He ain't ****!"

If my future could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, hold on.
Better days are coming!"

If my hopes and dreams could talk;
They would say,
"***** what the actual ****?
Where are we? What is this place?"

If natural disaster was to call.
And we were all to fall.
Will there be anyone left?
To log into our phones,
And read our unposted;
Thoughts.
Poems.
Playlist songs.
Prayers.
Notes.
To do lists.
Bucket lists.
Wishlists.
Uncleared shopping carts.
Liked videos.
Saved videos.
Favorite videos.
Watch later.
Retweeted.
Loved.
Reposted.
Unfiltered pictures.
DIY projects.
Ten minute crafts.
Absolute must haves.
Spend the day with mes.
Get ready with mes.
Food orders.
Takealot orders.
Amazon orders.
Day in the life.
What I feed my dog in a day.
What I eat in a day.
Daily vlogs.
Daily blogs.
Unread texts.
Check ins.
Drafts.
Downloads.
Watch lists.
Google history.
Unread emails.
Tinder matches.
Netflix must watch.
Gen Z versus millenials.
Private subscriptions.
And think to themselves,
What the actual f**k?
What happened to us?
What has the world become?
Personally,
I hope he writes the new Bible.
What would God think?

Floods are coming.
I hope you drown first,
Before everyone else.
Storms are calling.
I hope you get stuck first,
Before everyone else.
For not responding,
To my texts.

It hurts.
It burns.
Every day.
In every way.
I cry about it.
Obsess over it.
Night by night.
Against my might.
It cuts deep.
I can't fall asleep.
You don't see me.
Why can't you see me?
Will you ever see me?
Like I see you?
I see you.
More than you'll ever know.
In my dreams.
My thoughts.
In my memories.
I see you all the time.
I can't stop.
Seeing you.
I wish you saw me,
Too.
What would it take,
For you to see me?
What do I have to do?
For you to see me?
I'd do anything.
For you to see me.

Always trying to figure out,
Where I went wrong.
It's like I blinked,
And suddenly,
I was in a deep dark hole.
Not knowing how I fell in,
Or when.
My whole life is a blur.
I don't have any memories,
Of who I used to be,
Before I became,
A sad;
Lonely;
Broke;
Broken;
Depressed;
Anxious;
Unloved;
Adult.
I­t's all I know.
When did I make the decision,
To become a failure?
How did I become,
A victim of life?
How do I turn things around?
Make life meaningful.
Have meaningful relationships.
Nothing feels real.
I lost myself trying to heal.
I wish for death like it's nothing.
Every time I see a "rest in peace" post,
Deep down I wish it was me.
Thinking: "You're so lucky to be dead."
I've stopped believing.
I've accepted,
Misery.
And all its friends and foes.
I can't count how many times a day,
I say:
"I wish I was dead"
"I'm so lonely"
When does it end?
Does it ever end?
I wish somebody loved me.
Am I feeling sorry for myself?
Yes!
Do I know how to stop?
No!
Am I worthy of unconditional love?
Absolutely!
Will I reach it?
I don't know!

I hope grace locates you,
And never leaves your side.
I hope you continue to shine,
And never cease your light.
May God bestow his best blessings,
Upon you and yours,
And continue to bless you,
For all eternity.
May darkness fear your presence,
And the light be ever comfortable in your existence.
May you never again feel pain.
I hope you find peace so pleasant,
That you continue to dwell in it,
For all eternity.
May you never again feel the grasp of grief,
Nor the frustration of failure,
Nor fear.
Nor the sting of shame,
Nor despair.
May the cloud of sadness abandon your side forever,
And that of happiness accompany you to the grave.
May joy be your daily bread.
May bliss be your every day song.
May your heart be filled with love,
So unconditional it prevails,
Against all odds.
May you be protected against all evil.
May the devil tremble at your feet.
May the angels shelter you under their sacred wings.
May your wildest dreams come true,
Better than you have envisioned.
May you never lack.
May your pockets never run dry,
For generations to come.
I wish endless abundance upon you.
I wish boundless prosperity upon you.
I declare everlasting wealth and health, upon your life.
May the world see God's graciousness, through you.
And let them follow your righteous path,
For you stayed true.
You fought valiantly.
You showed perseverance and courage.
And for that,
I hope grace locates you,
And never leaves your side.
I hope you continue to shine,
And never cease your bright light.
May God bestow his biggest blessings,
Upon you and yours.
And continue to bless you,
For all eternity.

Amen and amen...