You are not my everything
If you were
I would be nothing

I am not nothing
I am electric
You just turn me on

When it's hard for you to understand how anyone could not feel it in their bones the way you do
You know you love that thing
You know it loves you back

Vastness hums a dark, invisible blue
But the air dances carefully and purposefully in circles
And the vastness feels no longer intense but charming
In the midst of other things
In comparison to eyes
Slate eyes
Chartreuse

My irises shiver, they blush
They tell my brain to unleash butterflies to my stomach
So they swirl down and around and they land on golden grass
And I can breathe, but only barely
A cool grey breath just beyond comfortability

Secret green is no secret
When it is met by warm red, finally
Complimentary
Nearly the most surreal sight

Second only to the pinks and blues
That remind me of you

Create distance
Not dead air
But just enough room
For suspicion to dissipate

No one will know
That we sneak away
For little passions

Oh it's like our own movie we are acting in

now and then
you remember all too well
when everything was purple
you reach for a girl
you try to see her face
the way you try to remember faces from dreams
but they are so far beyond unfamiliar
that you think
they never existed in the first place, did they
you ache
for lost time
for good acting
for her
for no one
she was no one at all

You shared a piece of who you are with everyone in that room
A piece they could understand, empathize with
So that they could learn from that piece
And add it to their collection

And it felt great to share it
And it will feel great a year from now or maybe two
When gratitude finds it way back to you
For the meaning they were able to place on that piece you gave
But the moment you leave the room
You can feel that it’s missing

And you realize
Far too late
That the architecture of your identity is no longer structurally sound
Because you gave away too many pieces
And you didn’t take anyone else’s in return

awakeness is only an idea
psychology, a trick

i will trick myself for as long as it takes
to feel on top of the world
and see the stars below me