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TheBigShut Aug 2016
This morning I looked in those small brown eyes.
I saw the past and present
At a same time.

My heart's start choking
And tears just fell down.
Her pure heart and humble  eyes crushed me apart.
An for the first time
I felt stars stumbling in the sky
I love you mom
TheBigShut Mar 2016
They say I could loose myself,
trying to save you.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe they're selfish.

And your lips are cherry.
And your touch is heavy.
And your eyes are blurry.
And your presence bitter, sweety.

I wish I could catch you,
no matter what.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe I'm selfish
TheBigShut May 2015
Oh pure soul of mine
You ask too much
You give too much
You love,
     You give,
         You accept.

You found the Divine Truth
where everything is such a lie.
How can you raise
when no one sees you fly.
How can you cry
in this world full of heads down.
Who to ask
when everybody lives to die
TheBigShut May 2015
Once upon a time everything fits
It was awesome ****.
That's all I remember and the fact that I was just a kid.
You used me
You ******* used me
I was the best you'll ever have.
I gave you my heart, my thoughts, my ideas, my time
But you used me
You ******* used me
And now I want you to go.
I want you to let me,
'cause your presence ****** me.
And your idea that I've changed
Makes me revenge.
Let me, ******* let me.

I was a kid, looking for a small things,
Flying with a little wings.
I let you in
But for you it was just a win.
And you're right, I have changed.,
I lock my heart in the cage.
Let me, please let me
Your presence angry me.
And I can't let myself hurt you
'cause I learned so much from you.
Now, I'm a grown person
looking for a ******* reason.
You ****** me,
That's all I remember and the fact
that there was a child inside me.
TheBigShut Feb 2017
I'm turning the page.
All the things I said and all the things I've done
can disappear in dust.
Dust called past.

I'm gonna raise so high
with free mind and full heart.

To the ones I outgrown
and the ones that didn't understand...

I'm raising so high,
and even with your heads turned to the sky
you won't see me fly.

'Cause I'm a ******* star
and will find my place on the sky...
TheBigShut May 2016
Lately I think much of a Death.
           Final cross over
Border between relief and pain
     Crime for two and more
          Skipped heartbeats
            Blood and tears

               I guess
   You can never die alone
TheBigShut Aug 2017
Now I know, that feelings change their form same as the dreams change their course.
But dreams are the ones that makes you Alive and beliefs are the ones that makes you succeed.
Now I know, that every day counts and every action i make gets me closer to what I wanna and what I'm destined to become.
Now I know, that life is like a river, it has it's own flow, it goes all the way around and starts again.
It feeds the plants and plants feeds the animals,
and animals feeds the Humans, and humans feeds the Earth the moment they die,
and the Earth makes Universe grow, and Universe sets the rain that makes this space to  blossom. This space between You and Me.
And river starts to flow and makes us closer.
We chrush into each other, like atoms that makes molecules, and molecules creates notion that sounds like the birds and feels like the Sun shred its rays on your chest.
It all comes to you and it all comes to me.
'cause all of this is just for You as much as it is for me, We just have to believe.
I believe and I'm asking You to believe too.
TheBigShut Apr 2016
You showed up
just like that and the time stopped.
From nowhere, with that huge smile across your face.

I couldn't help myself,
I hugged you so hard
and you hugged back.
I could feel your breath on my neck,
your gentle hands across my back.
I swear a God that your heart
beated inside mine.
    (breath)
I don't want to wake up.
'Cause your heart still beat inside mine
And you're gone
And the time passes by
And The Hope just died.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
TheBigShut Mar 2016
There was a time,
when I would wake up with a smile.
Looking at  ceiling,
with immense feeling of beauty and hope.
At that time I could hear my heartbeats,
pumping the innocence trough my veins,
and that lunatic mind of me
would make me feel invincible.
TheBigShut May 2016
I know that the words
means the Universe to you;
Universe of love, hope,
self-explore
beauty and crowd.

So I'm reaching you in this form
Don't mind my english
I suppose I was a english woman
in past life, perhaps a ****** Mary

Well, that's not important
'cause part of my little heart beats for you
And I hope that this words
will give you a bit of love and self-relief
'cause you're not alone.
Or at least a smile 'cause of
my ****** rime

God bless You
TheBigShut May 2015
so much pressure in the chest
so much thoughts in the head
and nowhere to escape.
TheBigShut May 2015
In the darkness of my chest
I lost my self.

I took a hopeless step
and found myself in coldness.
Cold water pulls me down
and the Black sea was all around me.

No breath in, no breath out.
I closed my eyes
and put a smile
'cause I saw a way out.

But dear God,
I'm scared to escape
'cause in this cold darkness
I feel my bless.
TheBigShut Sep 2015
I wish I'm a painter
so I could draw your face;
your at one moment sad and in
the other glowing eyes;
your perfect smile
and every ******* scar.

I wish I'm a writer
so I could describe your pretty soul;
your intellectual mind;
your sense of humor;
your gentle hands
and your weak but warm hugs.

I wish I could see you in my dreams
so I don't have to be afraid to forget you.
you give me that moment,
a hope.
But, river took it away

— The End —