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Aug 2013 · 437
Love
Tanya Aug 2013
I got myself a puppy
On the 14th of Feb
Because I
Was lonely,ay
I called it Love
And enveloped it in my arms
The moment it was placed in my hands
Love was young
It was fragile
Weak
Yet it had the soul of something
So pure
I almost couldn't breathe
Love was the best thing that happened
Everyday
I swore to keep Love by my side
How precious
Love would enter my life
I held Love by the leash
Making sure it was mine;
Only mine
Never lost or wandering
And calling it back home
When the sun was back in bed
"Love! I'm here!"
As if Love would understand
But it did
And it would leap into my arms
Nuzzling against my cheek
I loved Love
Who doesn't love Love
Yet at the same time
Love gave me pain
And it was tiresome to keep Love
I found myself doing none of the above
Because Love kept running away
And I was alone
Once again
Aug 2013 · 499
The 14th day of Feb
Tanya Aug 2013
Bring me back to Valentine's day
The 14th of Feb
When I thought
I had no one to spend it with
This 2013
But you came right along
And I really thought
I wouldn't see you again
But there you were
On the 14th of Feb
An angel sent from heaven
To comfort my soul
Instead of Ben and Jerry
Oh what joy
I felt
I have always loved you
And I still will
If only I could kiss your cheek
So tenderly
And gently
Whispering in your ear
How much I wanted you
I miss you
And I want to see my fingers interlaced with yours
Your lips on mine
Our bodies entwined
Aug 2013 · 574
Unfinished
Tanya Aug 2013
Dear momma
All things I've ever wanted to say
I never did
And I'm sorry
Countless times I've wished
You were here
Once again
In the artist's apron
A paintbrush in your hand
"I'm going to paint a portrait of myself."
It was never completed
Unfinished
Like my words
I never did complete them
"I love you"
So hard to say
An unnatural force turned into a barrier
Choked me
Even till
When all oxygen left you
When it became past tense
Your lovely eyes turning soulless
Lips that couldn't utter anymore
The word mother
Was suddenly unrelatable
So many nights
I curled up and sobbed
Wishing I had said something
Anything
In everything
I'm waiting for that day again
Mom
For the day I'll be able to say
"I love you so much and I'm sorry."
x
Aug 2013 · 514
I still cannot say who
Tanya Aug 2013
Oh how I used to adore you
Love you
And desired to know you better
The days when my heart
Went like the drums
The bass boy played in church
Quicker and quicker
Never quite calming until
I spoke to you again
You asked
"So do you like anyone now?"
Oh it was you,love
I desperately wanted to kiss
Your cheek
Caress it
And whisper
"It's you."
But I couldn't.
What a shy girl.
"These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume"
We couldn't end up like Romeo and Juliet
Not even romantically
I'll smile to myself
Whenever I think
Of the time when you grabbed my hand
So tightly
As if I was your rope
The only thing you could only survive with
And now amidst all these
I miss you
Your laugh
Your smile
Your eyes
Our conversations
Hey,
And I've never regretted you
Aug 2013 · 627
I
Tanya Aug 2013
I
Cover your eyes
For I know the secrets that you've kept
Each and every one of them
A pair of hands wouldn't be enough
Seal your lips
For I am aware of all the girls you've kissed
No, not your mother
Them, with the curly hair and a ribbon tied
Shut your ears
For I would tell you that even though you are lovely
You'll never be mine
Not within my grasp
Tie your hands
For I know the letters you've written
And mailed straight to every girl's heart
Inked on their veins
But I hate you
And love you
All at once
I want you to be mine
Oh,
Everlasting love
Aug 2013 · 605
Never your fault
Tanya Aug 2013
I wish I didn't try
As hard to make you love me
Checking my texts
Every hour
And thinking what's it
That I've done wrong
Oh no,
Never your fault
Always mine
Scrutinisizing every word
And over thinking everything
I'll always say
"If only I hadn't"
But I did
So all guilt falls on me
I'll never quite know
How you truly feel
About everything.
About This
About us
But I tried
And if I leave this earth
Tomorrow
There'll be no regrets
Because I've tried
To salvage everything from this fire
Stop it from burning faster and hotter
And now everything's on you
Not me,now
I'll try to forget you
I'll try very very hard.
Aug 2013 · 674
I'll tell you
Tanya Aug 2013
I composed a letter to you
In my mind
And spoke aloud
To the walls
They often say
"The four walls have ears"
And if no one listened
It would :
"Dear beautiful,
I had expected this day to arrive
But not so soon
Not when I'm not prepared
But all I want to say
Is that
I have always loved you
Dreamt of placing my lips
On your cheeks
And fingers
Laced around yours
For you to place your arms
Around my shoulders
On a cold night
And keep me close to you
Whisk me to surprise dates
And plant kisses on my forehead
So you aren't romantic
And everything I wrote
Is my imagination
But nothing is an ere
Because I'll teach you
To be a charming lover
Impressing every other girl
And I'll be able to tell you
" That one day has arrived."
And even though
You aren't for me
You are going to be someone else's
solid rock
That pillar of strength every girl hopes for
The Prince Charming
(Maybe on a white horse)
The singer that'll sing her love
And care everyday
The doctor that'll mend her broken heart
Just the lover
That she has found
Aug 2013 · 422
A
Tanya Aug 2013
***
A;
The first letter of the alphabet
How it sounds like "eh"
Like a revelation
The beginning of thoughts
How they always piece
The letter A with something
Never going solo
Unless the grade gets an A
I wish I had an A grade heart
Perfect
Worthy of praise
So my grade A heart
Could love you fully
And most perfectly
"A" marks the start of every story
There will always be an A somewhere
Even in this sentence alone
I just wish for a boy
Not an A boy
Just a boy
Someone who could love
Me
A girl
Aug 2013 · 402
Yōō
Tanya Aug 2013
If only you knew
How much I longed
To trace your body
With my finger
Stopping at your lips
And pushing mine
Against yours
Open my eyes
To find yours closed
And within that delight
hoped we were each other's love
The scent of you
That lingers every night
In my mind
Supplies me with such pain
And joy yet at the same time
I wanted to see you again
Wrap my arms around your body
My head pressed against your chest
Following the beat of your heart
I'll find myself
Deeply
Madly
In love with you
You; yōō
And prayed so hard every night
That you felt the same
" I'm sorry"
Didn't quite make the cut
Not when I gave you every bit
Of my small heart
Telling you how beautiful
A person you are to me
How imperfect you are
a flawed human being
And how I get butterflies
Around when someone mentions your name
But all of these;
Must be kept a secret
No one else can know
Because you are my treasure
Buried deep within somewhere small

— The End —