If my ***** could grip tighter it would

it would swallow you whole if she could

she’d stop you coming so quick

just to have more time with your ****

This ***** is greedy and selfish

your shaft her favourite dish

she’ll let you lap up her cream

your *****’s passion supreme

I knew I was a giver

when I tried to blow my *******

I need you to moan

or act a groan

if i don’t think I’ve turned you on

my chance for an ****** has been and gone

Ah, often the salesman doth smile too much
usually means what he’s selling doesn’t work
He’s got the knack though the midas touch
he can sell ice to the eskimo, ****
He has got the patter down, off the cuff
On unsuspecting spenders he does lurk
To praise and extol his dubious stuff
If you purchase, commission, that’s his perk
My heart falls to my toes, he makes it lurch
Flattery can work on my emotions, park
Other day couldn’t get rid, sold a torch
To dodge him be up earlier than lark
Next time I see him I’m running away
Especially when its precious pay day

a beautiful face
fades with the decades
there’s no beauty compared to what we hide
cushioned and treasured inside-


the tears we’ve cried
the people who’ve died
the times we’ve tried
the dreams we’ve aspired
the friends we’ve carried-


a beautiful personality
lasts for eternity

Bridezilla is on the rampage
slightest mishap starts to rage
place settings, table plans
hair pulling, feet dance
screams and tantrums
plate dodging chums
stressing over money
I’m so not funny
hubby-2-be was being tongue-in-cheek
unaware of the havoc I can wreak
he’s in the doghouse for a week
my company is not for the meek

Oh it’s just gorgeous outside
pale skins hide
sunworshippers basking in a lazy glow
work, troubles for a while they don’t know
cinemas, libraries emptier today
as kids want to go outside to play
natures calling
work rates falling
beer gardens, beaches
suddenly enthralling

Oh boss can we have a reprieve
Can we have sunny days leave?
Especially in this lovely Emerald Isle
where glorious sunshine only stays a while

I've had a relapse
my willpower had a collapse
I'll just have to start anew
and keep writing a poem or two
It keeps my hands and brain busy
when my addiction is making me dizzy
I'm trying not to get in a tizzy
But right now, I feel like a *****

I’ll love you ‘til the desert freezes over
and the camels come skating home
Your always in my mind and heart
I will never roam

You complete me like strawberries and cream
life with you is a wonderful dream
imagining life without you
my heart and soul scream

I’ll love you ‘til the first Sunday
there’s no mass
worshipping you, bold as brass
your my lover and best friend
and the only one that will put up with my sass

Pathetic vision

snivelling boy my new toy

happily got bound

“Hey, you
Yeah, you, what you looking at”?
“Did you buy tickets”

That was roared at me as I watched this fine gentleman try to dump a package

At first, I thought it was just ordinary ******* but he was being too protective of it
then whatever it was, moved ever so slightly

I couldn’t move
I was rooted to the spot
he could roar and bellow all he liked
but I wasn’t going anywhere
I couldn’t

He looked at me with an evil grin
and just dropped his bundle in the bin
then with an ignorant shrug
went on his way his errand done
I think I actually heard him whistle

I rushed over
and gently picked up this man’s *******
I unwrapped it
it was a beautiful little kitten
snow-white
it’s colour being its only distinguishing mark
a tiny scrap of a thing

It wasn’t moving now
no sound emitting
I massaged its little chest
urging it on with every thing I had
A tiny little rise
Yes
I can do this

It slowly opened its eyes
took deep racking breaths
its little body spasmed
then
blessed relief
its breathing no longer laboured
and
a most wondrous thing
like a baby’s first cry
a miaow, barely audible
music to my ears
then getting louder
rising to a fantastic ear-busting, heartwarming crescendo

I’ve kept it
it’s now my companion
when it wants to be
I called her Hope

One man’s ******* is now my treasure

I’ll lose weight when I’m ill

I won’t be taken a diet pill

my body’s curvy like the hair on my head

give up what I like I may as well be dead

Memories form a cascade of magical treats
pooling as years around our feet
each one in danger of drowning in the mundane
secreted somewhere deep in our brain
fading in time
written in rhyme
hidden ‘til we stop to reminisce
our little gems of happiness
treasure them always
there the good old days
remembrance of times past
a joy that lasts and lasts

When the monkey
came to stay
he ran away
with the Earl Grey

When the snail
came to stay
he left a trail

When the frog
came to stay
he started his own blog

When the giraffe
came to stay
he charged me a tariff

When the magpie
came to stay
he ran of with a glass eye

When the parrot
came to stay
he ate my last carrot

When the cat
came to stay
he ate my welcome mat

Next time their
coming to stay
I’ll be gone away

Cheating on his girlfriend
he loves her,doesn’t know why
texting and planning
while kissing her goodbye
saving for the ring
he’s going to ask her soon
while thoughts of his lover
makes his mind swoon
he wants a child
and a beautiful bride
but he also wants his bit on the side
the man I can’t understand
everyone says he’s a great boyfriend
maybe he thinks he is
and needs to share his unique bliss
he’s a traitor a ‘Judas’ kiss

Oh,the past I want to obliterate
all my past sins abolished forever
for all old hurts with good deeds compensate
Oh, karma holds a grudge, catch me never
Any damage I’ve caused I commiserate
Ah, with my bad deeds all ties I sever
Not necessary to rant and berate
To mend my wicked ways I endeavour
So unfurrow thou brow, let me placate
I admit I was oft, not so clever
I’m trying new ways to communicate
To walk path of righteousness, I aver

I vow, this is my new travelling road
It entails a pure and chaste highway code

If you’d done it better

I’d have been wetter

If you’d taken the time

I’d have an ******, sublime

You didn’t, were through

I’m so over you