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Stephen Paige Aug 2015
I'm sorry I'm worthless.
I can't stay up all night just wondering if we will be alright. What's on your mind?
The same ******* you think about me?
I'm sick of wondering when your next breakdown will be.
I'm not out cheating but I might as well be. Because that's what you think of me.
Maybe I need to leave.
Hopefully you'll see how for granted you took me.
I finally see. I'm sick of trying to prove my love. Sick of never being enough. You've got trust issues but your ******.
And I hope your not but I know your stuck.
The way you go about everyday accusing.
Not allowed to have friends, not allowed to make plans. Constant questions you just demand. 24/7 365. It's no surprise.
I don't want to feel despise. Just want you to realise you got me. But that's not enough to make This stop? Not enough sacrifice. Never enough to give up. Never be able to earn your trust. This just isn't fair. My words in and out the same ear.
Do you even care about how your accusations sting? I'm just out cheating. I might as well be because that's how you will always think.
Stephen Paige Feb 2015
I don't know if I want to live.
No matter what I do it's just the same ****.
I've tried to rise up. Tried to put up a fight. But now it's done.
This is finally too much.
I think I may, I hope I might, pass in my sleep tonight.  Numb from my endless worries. So sick from my insecurities.
Maybe your God will have some mercy. But he's gone out of his way to continually hurt me.
Please stop giving to just take more.
I swear my struggles have made my body ache and my mind sore.
Stephen Paige Feb 2015
I don't owe anyone an explanation,
I don't owe you a thing.
If something little bothers you so much.
I'll pack my bags and leave.
I won't give you that "it's not you, it's me" because honestly. Honestly I don't need anyone. Don't rely on anyone except me.

How could this be?
A love like ours is fleeting but being alone wouldn't bother me.
No one could ever understand or see.
We might be in love but that doesn't mean we are meant to be.

You can talk your **** baby.
I don't care lately.
Just keep saying you trust me but it seems fake lately.
Keep your opinions.
You don't make me. Me.
Stephen Paige Feb 2015
It's like clockwork, the angst finds me every day.
I try so hard to explain but you never understand me.
I don't want to live
I can't pretend I have more to give.
I'm not saying that this is it
But I can't think of a reason to dust myself off and finally just live.
Let live. But I gave in. I'm no man. Can't live and love when I can barely even stand.
Don't say I make you happy when I know your smile is pretend.
Stephen Paige Feb 2015
You did this
Don't dare place blame on me.
You trapped me in this sorry excuse for a home.
These are four walls I never leave.
This is not a home, this is a ******* prison cell to me.
You don't care so don't tell me.
"It's not that bad, your always so sad"
I'll tell you how dead I feel to get nowhere. But now I've made you mad.
I keep faking feeling alive just for the sake of you.
I'm not living my life because I was busy loving you.
But now it's too much and for you it's not enough.
I put you first in line for a ride of a lifetime.
I can't give what I don't have so don't ask for my heart.
Stephen Paige Jan 2015
I wish life would just finally decide to let me be happy or just leave me to die. How many days and how many times do I have to just deal and let these suicidal thoughts subside.
There's no magic in our hands there aren't any more sparks in our eyes.
Silly boy don't cry.
Everything is another ******* lie.

I'll decide if my life is worth this or if I'd rather die.
But will I have the courage to change everyone's lives. Leave you all behind
If given the choice, I choose to die.
You don't decide if I'm worth anything. That's my choice
Stephen Paige Sep 2014
Monday night.
The hour will come that we say our goodbyes.
I wish this didn't have to come my love.
The moment our embrace must end and I'll be driving for hours on end.
Just to see the sad face you make will be the death of me.
Keep me close.
Its 9 months away but I swear well be back together before you know.
Don't shed a tear.
Because I'm miles away but tonight I'm still here.
Christmas will come.
Through blizzard or ice I'll make it to you I swear. I'll be there.
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