Dear brother of mine
the words I have for you
when you take a familiar path
down a destructive road

It ruined so much of our lives
now it has it's grip on you
how could you accept it
why would you let it in

After everything it has taken away
what it has taught us
you turn your faith to addiction
to replace your own anguish

Life will never be easy for us
but you're making it harder
burying yourself in lost memories
hoping to forget the rest

Take another hit of a seductive high
forget about your future life
it's only right now you live
forget what you have
as you create something so black in you

come a long way to the end
reach for more torture
forget if it hurts your family
we all die anyway

From the greatest and worst times of our lives
we always had each other
to hold on to and to survive
no matter how much it hurt

From one bro to the other
it's not for you
don't make the same kind of mistakes as our mother
you only have this life and you won't get another
just find a better place and live another day

It hurts to see our memories go away
If she saw what you are doing
she would roll in her grave
you will never get these parts of your life back

Not only do you do it to yourself
but you deal it out to others
for the collapse of love and family
a cold union so hollow
no warmth to feel inside

Aching sickness for more to come
only the will to make it go away
like I want it to get out of you
and never return

Left the ponder his mortality,
the butterfly flutters by,
and lights upon a weary flower,
wilted, waning, less than dapper,
(she must be depressed)
and starts sipping nectar,
to drown his sorrows (no doubt),
concerning the doom that is surely close at hand.

The flower,
feeling rather used,
sinks lower, looking at the earth,
and checking her stem, says
"Oh my! my stem is so wide!"
She begins to cry,
and the butterfly dies,
with five thousand lights in his eyes.

Passing by,
an Elderly Woman
stoops in silence,
collecting the wind shuddered wings,
snapping the too fat stem,
and smiling
from the sweetness of these breathless
reminders
of whatever it is that makes
Elderly Women smile.

The Sun is a fiend,
and the wind may scream,
but there is no sadness to be seen in dreams.

At fifteen I feel barricades

Under my feet

Erected in some

Despicable deceit



Yet I trod them down

And know my own defeat

Like those who wander

In their own conceit

there is a girl who lives inside my bones
she hibernates in my heart
she burrows beneath my ribcage
[she tears and claws to escape]

her eyes cut through me like knives
her fingers play the same two chords
my veins are her keys
[she whispers into my ear as i sleep]

she has tiny bird bones
and she keeps the salt underneath the bed
it takes longer to make the monsters leave our body
[but they always do]

she never comes when i am alone
she appears at night
she knows she isn't welcome
[she stays in hopes that i'll run back to her]

her small hands hold me down
fragile fingers lace my throat
she won't give up until she's done
until my lungs collapse




and i erupt like a solar flare




*[and i don't blame her]

Apparently I’m just a bipolar *****
And apparently the "friends" I did have are too
So what I don’t understand, is how you can judge me
Because honestly? You don’t have a CLUE

******* please step down from your tower
I’m sick of these games
And how you have all this power
That you’re constantly abusing

You can leave me if you really want
Because there’s enough battles I have fought
And I don’t need you telling them
Who can be my friend, and who cannot

But if you think I’m another lost cause
You can **** on your words
As I sit back and applause
Your “valiant” effort in saving me

Mommy mommy come quick!
Theres a monster under my bed
Hes been under there for
Quite some time
And bedtime I now dread

Hunny, there are no monsters
‘mommy, please just listen!’
Just close your eyes
And itll be okay
Eventually dreamland will glisten

Mommy mommy come quick!
Theres a monster under my desk
Its lurking in the shadows
Of my chair
Hes being so grotesque

Listen dear, there are no monsters
Close those lids
Picture puppies in a field
Running with butterflies
And playing with kids

Mommy mommy come quick!
Theres a monster in my closet
I know hes there
Please sleep in here
Stay all night and watch it

Babygirl, there are no monsters
Now close your eyes and rest
Relax your mind
And breathe deeply
Tonight you will sleep your best

Mommy mommy come quick!
The monster is out right now
He is kneeling at my bedside
His hands are running through my sheets
I want to disappear somehow

But he wont leave
His fingers keep wandering
Mommy, I don’t like this massage
Please make him go away
And save me from all of this hurting

the world is one ****** up, crazy, beautiful place.
we are all bipolar in our own minds and confused with our existance
we make something of ourselves based on the lies we are fed everyday
we judge  everyone and EVERYTHING, because we are always comparing
we are always ready to compare something to another thing
and that is what makes us so ******* disgusting
STOP.
and ******* listen.
listen to the steady beat of a child, and a rapidly chaotic beating of one on the brink of death

listen to the racial slurs and gender specifications and ****** orientations we implement every day

listen to the laughter and to the sobbing and to the screaming of a ‘happy’ home

listen to the gunshots and tortured souls and heartbroken soldiers footsteps on foreign land

******* listen to the things which make human beings human

women are not plastic and molded exactly the same to be sold in window displays at the mall

soldiers are not heartless and unbreakable to the bone

children who laugh are not always happy, naiive and carefree

why do we always have to listen to the media or to our best friends or our families opinions?
you have your own brain and heart
use them, and  stand up for yourself, for others, for the world
because the world cannot heal by itself
we need to act.
now.