I rubbed my hands together and blew
blew and blew some more until I knew it was
hot enough
hot enough for it to grow
hot enough for it to actually blossom into something
special
unbreakable
forever
I was careful as I placed my hands around it
too careful
someday, yes
someday I will hold his hand
but for now, this thought will just linger like a candle's fire
flickering
like it's on hibernation
forevermore flickering
years passed
eons passed
a slow ignition
I rubbed my palms more
yes, warmer, warmer, please be warmer
it's almost blooming, almost, almost-
and it disappeared
it was blown out
blown out as he held someone else's
hand
in front of me
the love I thought was meant to be
left a trail of smoke
dancing, dimming, no more flickering
no more
a hollow abyss stayed instead.

cold water, harsh ripples
grey clouds, unmoving
never nodding, never agreeable
I could do this
yes, I can, I can
I will
yes, yes
small steps, tiny steps
yes, I could do this
colder water, harsher ripples
howling grey clouds, unmoving
never nodding, never agreeable
they are taunting
mocking, spitting pebbles
no, I can't do this
I can't, I can't, I can't
they're taunting, mocking, laughing, pointing
stop, stop, stop taunting, mocking
stop
please
stop
coldest water, harshest ripples
screeching grey clouds, unmoving
never nodding, never agreeable
cold, so cold
I will get out of this cold
no more taunting, mocking, laughing, pointing
no more cold
yes, I could do this
yes, I can, I can
I will
yes, yes
smallest steps, the tiniest steps
yes, I could do this
ice water, murderous ripples
yes, I will.