Walking home from work
On a hot day, dark night.
The moon drunk with heat,
hanging lower then usual.
its light dripping like sweat
over this sleepy town.

The stillness is so calming
and the feeling of living without will,
or purpose seems to suit me just fine.

Realizing that the earth has a smell
and that I am inside of it.
That ally's have faces and that people
can be as shapeless and purposeless as trees still in the midnight heat, with no wind to make them come alive.

These are the days I count.......
and Its all I need to look up.....without expecting god.

I was sitting there in my childhood hour without time or god
Life or death
When someone handed me the measure of distance
And now I am lost.

I was playing in my childhood hour without hate or love
When some handed me a gift from god,
Excited I opened it, without hesitation or knowledge of fear.
Inside was a layer of skin made of guilt and promise that I would have to learn to wear and now my body doesn’t know how to feel or act.

All the endless possibility that I felt before that day where placed on two points on the map of my body.

I lost so much in one day and I would keep losing.
Those were the rules.

So I sat there,
sealed lips,
listening to my God play my *****.

And when my eyes would wander my skin would burn and my bones would rattle.
They had forgot to tell me that he was a jealous god.

But I learned faster then even they could imagine.
My hunger learned first to feast only on his body and his blood
and soon it became all I needed.
Desire was disappearing and my heart was grey.

But I knew from my lessons that sadness was the source of a blessed progress.

And soon my hands could not find themselves to my body
so they held each other
afraid to fall into a concrete nothingness .

And now that I have found another pair of hands and your body
My god feels cheated
And all I know to do is throw my god inside of you.