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when i look
into his emerald eyes
i see a vast ocean
of colors that dont exist

when i look
into her hazel gray eyes
i see a road with a fork
that leads the same way

when i look
into his brown eyes
i see a beacon of light
a child's eyes;

when i look
into their amber eyes
i see the cunning
analyzing me head to toe

when i look
into my mahogany eyes
i see nothing
a void.
sliding down banisters,
living so fast, can't catch my breath
crying in the hallways,
blazing grey haze, popping pills left right
dark clouds and woozy faces
different phase, feeling buzzed and laced
intoxicated when i'm with you
running away wasted
fading into the music
shots till we're gone
standing on a roof, living on a wire
flashing lights set me on fire
losing my sanity, where's my touch of reality
same patterns and splattered emotions
smelling the fear in this house of tears
throwing up everything but memories
calming blue solace,
farther from the flames of dark perdition
mystified shadows of regression
unscathed from the pits of fear,
never ending lines of asphodels
constant renditions of wandering souls
sheer silence,
a place of introspection,
plain and placid
it is not a place for sinners
nor a place for children
yet where we all go
when we drift
i take it all back
i don't want to know
i don't want to care
i don't care

do you think im stupid
i knew what you did
i kept quiet

you chose not to
you told my secrets
you shared my scars

you have issues?
so do i.
did you ever ask me
like how i asked you

never mind, im cutting ties
nothing between us
nothing to talk about
ever.
i (just) want to know
does your world spin
does your pain fade away
does your heart swell
like the new moon
does your mind fall
into a deep trance
does your soul soar
does your face glow
with the light of a star
does your eye twinkle softly
does your cheeks blush
with the colors of the sunset
does your spine chill
does your stomach flutter
like butterflies in the rain
does your breath
fold in and out like the wings of a butterfly
does your lips curve
into a smile that cradles your face

or do you feel barren
i just want to know
if you feel the same way
if not
it's okay
some way or another
im always falling
into the hole

i dug it
with my own bare hands

it just gets deeper
every time i fall
emptiness,

a part of me
dishevels in that hole
i want to jump in

into the silence
away from here
i'm feeling it
the drift
a wedge
i'm draining
no one hears it,
an empty void
pure desolate silence
i don't want to stay
“nobody cares”
so why should i?
the idiosyncratic facade
fazing everyone
compressing everything within
yet i feel so hollow
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