dysfunctional feelings
"I love you too"
exactly my point,
influenced by conformation.
direct deposit
overdrawn enthusiasm
settles my broken heart

empty rooms
crowded minds
what lies beneath the surface of fake smiles and saddened eyes

I can't remember the last time

is it habit?
is it obligation?
or do I know that the dark corners are where you'd have me

have our minds let our hearts grow numb?
or are we blind and just too consumed with the idea of love

Something in the green beer made people sick
happy birthday mommy
my life revolves around this pen
only now for orders
-not emotion
what's that?
I couldn't begin to remember anything real
busted my *** today
just trying.
but scraped my hand and bit my lip

Counting on time to be by my side
Never thought today would come
That the yesterdays would lead me here
A false sense of self, in a world with whom I am lost

I find myself here again at this place
questions with no answers

Beginning again to find a place to rest
Trying to find comfort in my loneliness

trapped in tears
and fear of growing old
acceptance allowed me to agree.
with decision, consequence.
to sarcasm, confide in me.
for it is I who understand
chase this crazy idea from comprehension.
"pardon me do you have the time?'
"my it is getting late!"
circumstance controls reaction.
interrupting my fascination
devour the desire to kiss the stars, and live on the moon.
escaping feeling once again,
looking down from my room,
your problems don't bother me.
so now confront my weakness,
break me down if you can
if not, you will try again tomorrow
leave it alone, leave me alone
let the time pass
and let me grow old

Glass frame
Continued pain
Sudden realization
Define rationalization
Could it be
That what I see
Is nothing more
Than it was before
But now I notice
Life in focus
That all things change
Nothing will be the same

Simplified in silence
Capture these emotions
calculate my temptation
to run away and never look back
I'm lost in love
not searching for exit
excited by senses
touch, taste, sound
feeling you near
even though you're nowhere around

whatever happened to starlit eyes?
Inside my confusion lies
exaggerated ideals
suffer thru compromise
controlled substances come to many uses
conflicting stories in my lines
only to suffer less pain
straight thru the vein
where were my words to express the rush
of freedom, as it vanished
along with my starlit eyes

Could you forgive me?
Could you refuse me-
If I came to you?
Or could you lie some more,
Next to me.
Now that it's over,
can I come in?
Replace the glass, change the bulbs
but don't touch the floor.

With these lines, pages fill
though never what I really mean to say.
What was it that caught you by surprise?

Left standing alone on a fault,
escaping silence with intervals of fear.
Why do feelings go unfelt? Who is not in debt from interest?

Solemn, vacant, paradise deserted?
Empty conversation is what we have.
Confronting absolution,
chased the shadow from the door-
allowing space for  child's life to pass without wanting to know more.
Enchanting tales insist the mind be tranquilized.
Preventing instinctive reactions-
Focus,
Wait, smoke in my eye

alone in this idea
share the blanket please
I cannot play with you today
my life is put on hold
waiting for a turn
only another day
everything else is the same