the desk was filled with empty coffee cups
they were almost as empty as his promises
the light on your desk was brighter than the light that led you down your path to misery
it seemed dark but you knew exactly where you were headed
you try to forget by drowning yourself in alcohol but your lungs are already filled with the smell of his breath after  he kissed you goodnight
you stay up late because you know you'll dream of the way he used to hold you and tell you he loved you
but when you're awake you can't help to fantasize about the way he used to look at you
and when someone brushes next to you in the hallway you think about how his hands used to hold your hips and the feel of his weight on top of you
you find yourself convinced of your own lies and the things you make up in your head seem more real than the things you actually felt and smelled and saw
you don't know if you hate him or love him for hurting you
because maybe he made you a better person but why would you break the heart of someone you love
though i'm not sure if breaking my heart is worse than telling me you love me when maybe you didn't at all