we seem to have made a lot of theoretical weekends
i'm terrified that they won't happen
because it is so nice to exist alongside your rendition of poise
and effusive words
that i am afraid it isnt real

she left you ignominious like he did to me
our roles are reversed but i feel like you understand
and i hope i am coming close to understanding the part of you
you left behind with her.

when i am with you i don't feel like a series of failed lacerations
and i look at you and see pride

i feel safe laying beside you, spend the night.