Her perfect world I aimed to create,
Problems she held onto I wanted to lock away,
That’s all I ever wanted for her.
All I ever tried to do.

But I can remember the sound,
A small whimper.
As if the past inside had caught up with her,
I was the problem. I was the cause.
I could see me reflection in every drop of water,
Image by image absorbed by my shirt.

Why was the search for safety still in me?
I was the reason.
Why did escape still rest on my shoulder?
I was what provoked.

What I want is not what I deserve.
I am given too much but never put out enough back.
Who gave me that right? To be such an ***;
So blind, and so Ignorant.
Yet she sticks around and stays,
It kills me to see that it kills her.

The perfect world I aimed to build
shattered in the frozen wind.
The loss of feeling in my bones
of escaped problems in the cold.

But I hold her.
Because I fear if I let go I’ll never feel her body again,
I fear I’d never hear that laugh I love once more,
Fear never to see that smile that brings good tears,
Or those eyes that tell a story:
A story no longer of her own.

Its fear.
Fear that makes me worry as the world moves on without me,
And nothing is left with me but an echo
Of those same words smeared across the walls of my skull.