I didn't think I could get out alive
for years I sat chained in this dungeon and hoped and prayed
to a thing supposedly bigger and greater than me
have you ever cried so hard that you panic and think you won't
be able to breathe again?
every day I have flash backs
clear as crystal and deep as a wound
I see you coming at me with rage and hatred in your eyes
my god
when I asked you if you felt sorry
you said NO!!!!??????!!!
the resentment I feel is larger than the hurt
I don't know how to cope and I don't know how to be

I was walking through town the other day and had this
alarming sense that I wasn't supposed to
I feel guilty when I want time to myself
I keep expecting you to yell at me
to threaten me
to turn that evil, lifeless grin on me before wrecking my life  
it's like
each time I rearrange my pieces into a jigsaw puzzle that spells "alright"
you come sauntering in and cut up all the jagged edges and I
can never completely fill myself again
my head is nothing but anger and confusion and dread and
sadness and mess up
I'm so messed up
you're gonna walk in tomorrow and I'm gonna have to hug you
and don't you know it kills me each time?
there will be nothing left
I don't know how to be
flatline