familiar old friend
although
im not sure if friend
is the right word

its been almost
a year now

almost

284 days
that i was kinda
proud of

but here we are
here i am
running my fingers
along your edges
and
theyre cold

cold enough
that when i trace
my hips with
you it
almost feels
safe
and
habitual

but i said
almost

and you see
i only want you
around
when i cant
face my mistakes
when i cant
face the people
i hurt
and the
pain ive caused

i know its wrong
i know that

but i deserve it

unlike a lot of things
i deserve this