I read some poems on here
That would just be up his street
Scrooge would love so much to read
How you all deal with defeat

Not everyone, mind you, you know
Just those, we all ignore
you know ...the suicidal ones
who are in *****, upon the floor

i got dumped and i just want
to **** myself ...they say
if you write it down on here, i guess
you won't do it anyway

Scrooge would love the way
They talk of copulation
He'd just sit back and say
Then let them reduce the population

They threaten to go off the rails
Though, I think some might be done
They talk of doing things, slowly
Have they not heard of a gun ?

Scrooge would love the way they cry
When they don't get their own way
He'd be hooked on this, because you find
Five hundred...every day

He'd suggest we re-institute
The mills and the poor houses
So, he would have to listen to
The stories of these louses

A topic of importance would be
Something, he would write
of money, pestilance and then
he'd say...GOOD NIGHT