I've been lying in bed for hours.
I don't see the point in getting up
How can I possibly live my life when you're gone?

I feel selfish
Spoiled that I'm still alive
I'm an awful person
If you aren't breathing anymore, why is it that I have that privilege?

It makes me wonder
It makes me angry
To even consider that there is a God
How can He exist if people as amazing as you are taken from this earth?

My breathing is lackluster in the dim light
The weight of blankets on my body buries me
That's how it should be
I feel your pain

I know I won't see you again
You belong in heaven and I will go to hell (if there are such places)
But in my heart I can remember you
With our memories I can laugh with you again
And in my dreams I can see you smile as if nothing happened.