I’m becoming quite sick of myself
that’s when I know I’m in trouble
not that I’m not always sick of myself
Just- I always find solace in the rubble
leftover debris of purity that burned down
just as it was building itself
I came to terms with the darkness
we shook hands
acknowledging one another
I respected him, he could only ever be darkness
respect becomes debris in the dark

Human emotion, powerful eruption
of one’s sanity is so ******* beautiful
because it exists, and we exist
but we’re pre-programmed into this thinking
a schedule a life plan an inkling
that our purpose is to be the best we can be
Yet, we have hearts and souls
and no matter how strictly one
may abide by the rules
punishment finds us all
in the cruelest ways

“Life’s cruel punishments are lessons”
^ this was my explanation of
conducted after years of contemplation
about why the **** am I alive if I’m ******* miserable all the time
there is no answer
there s no reason
there is simply being

I know something is wrong when I can’t focus on anything
but my inability to focus