I am broken
bent, forgotten, lost,
trying to build myself and I have good self esteem
so why do I feel so confused and tired
I love this life, I am constantly in joy
why is the sky so gray and burdened
why does the ground seem to spin
why do I want to lay in my bed all day and forget what it is
that threw me off a cliff
I want to be nothing, I want to cease, I want to stop fighting and
listen to music and close my eyes and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
til oblivion takes me-
and arise, new;
in this life I can never be enough
I cannot give you enough, I do not care enough, I am lost,
I am not the person you want or need, I am a facade of broken dreams,
I can never be the poet you love and I can never write down all you are
for all I want now is to live and I do not want to live in artsy coffee shops
I do not want to live in bookstores and cliches and carefully worded lines
I merely want to survive on my own terms and rest, I would like to rest
and stop thinking, I am too absorbed in myself
and what I need to fix to fix you
I cannot help you or anyone when I can hardly even get up out of bed,
how can I get back on my feet when I don't want to? How can I
be someone for someone else
when I can't even be me for me?