I*
And i guess,
that there is something more to this,
that we are all a cog in this machine,
and I am a good person with good intentions and good breath

And i guess,
that we all have some kind of purpose,
when I die, I will really, really become something,
and I'm a special little snowflake that'll never, ever melt


II
Forget about global warming, friends, 'cause that's just unpleasant!

Come on, tell me
How's the weather? How's your girlfriend? How many likes did you get?


III
Oh come on, life's not so bad!
Believe me, you're not alone!
OH! Jesus loves you! OH! Jesus loves you!

IV
I wish you'd stop smoking cigarettes
You know what they can do

V
Oh come on,
You know how the news upsets me!
Read: Let's just pretend like they aren't real people
Oh come on, that's not fair.

VI
Let's blame the government!
But then again, we are so blessed, we are so-o-o blessed!

VII
All these causes! All these diseases! All these horrible disasters!
Too much to keep track of! I can't be bothered, I simply can't be bothered!
I am a very busy person with a very stressful life, and I can't be bothered!

Did I tell you? My doctor put me on another set of pills last week, but they're making me gain weight. I've gotta change them again. ******* him. ******* idiot! Doesn't he know? I am a very important person with a very busy life! I can't be bothered!

And I'm a special little snowflake that'll never, ever melt


VIII
And i guess,
that I should listen to my mother
and I should stop smoking cigarettes
'cause Jesus loves me
and it makes him oh-so-sad