shame is the great silencer,
you took the words right out of my mouth,
for years
you left me avoiding my own thoughts
chasing circles after myself
you told me
in a million ways

That no one would ever love me,

that being around me was a chore
I should not have bothered you with.

now from a safe distance
looking back looks like ink on paper
a pen is my looking glass
the only thing to turn old scars into
something with more direction
the raised texture on my broken heart and porcelain skin
a map I can't lose
showing where I'm going, where I've been.
reminding me what you put me through,

That i'm not worthless
because you want me less
you don't dictate
how I love myself
you cannot scream a smile off my face
even when I don't know how to respond
to sharp phrases

If I'm leaving
you cannot tell me i'm a disappointment
from such a distance
although your persistence is astounding
and your anger awesome
My endurance is an equal to my ability
to walk away
and  sometimes you
don't have to say a single word
to make a statement.
I never had to cut you
I just let your words cut our ties
and distance
lend me perspective


And just because I do not yell doesn't mean
That I am quiet.
I' am not ashamed anymore
And you can not keep me silent