I used to reach for a spliff to numb the pain
Of when my chest started to ache
Or when my brain was about ready to explode
I'd drink until I couldn't remember my name
Just a quick shallow cut across my skin
Would lead to more and I'd be horrified to look at myself the next day

Now that that's all gone
What do I do when I'm choking on my tears at 4a.m. trying not to make a sound?
What do I do when the pain in my skull won't surrender to a couple aspirin?
What do I do when everything in my world is falling apart while everyone I know is sleeping...dreaming?

The voice in my head says
No one cares
And I'm beginning to think she's right