I never thought I would need to stay away from trigger warnings
I have always had an intense morbid curiosity
I guess watching 28 Weeks Later right after Sleeping Beauty will do that to a little girl.

But I could handle sadness and pain
Never letting it get to me.
But I guess after reading hundreds of books and poems about
Suicide
Anorexia
Bulimia
Self Harm
It added on to my hate for myself

Subconsciously I realized
If I needed help
I would need to make my emptiness more obvious
If I wanted everyone to see how broken I was
I had to be more obvious

So every time I read one of those books or poems
The next week or so I would replicate their pain
Never to an extreme
And a blade has never touched my skin
I was strong enough to stay away from that

This isn't a cry for help
Because I needed help a long time ago
I can usually deal with it now
All by myself