just like that, july
finale curtain fall,
and fog-laced everything
and future forever-question
less fear, less failure
more numb

we've been forewarned
the lake has risen
the tide, eternally arrived
and rain-frothed earth
that clings to cloth

I was born *****,
wiped fresh, and expected
to remain so
"Stay golden", no,
stay lily-white,
and mom and dad
I tried

we are told, from the beginning
over and over
a mantra of non-ending-knowing
"something is different about eighteen"
and in thirteen days
will I be
different

I look to nature
I look to strangers
I look anywhere but inward
for the last-piece-of

something there
is stirring, I think
something is certain
inherent in me
but I don't need to be certain,
no,
not immediately