She laid there on her stomach and gave me her heart on a silver plate

It was so much more than letting me into your fort

I didn't recognise it at the time
But I should have said
You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me
You are special to me - I don't want to be with anyone else and I mean it

I didn't though
Even though that's what I really meant
But it wasn't just because I was scared
When you told me you ****** that 34 year old guy I met one night- the one night we didn't hang out-
I sorta refused to process it- not that we were together -but you mattered - it's aggravating contemplating the things that we cannot count

You told me it matters the day before we spoke for the last time -
I said some additional stupid **** when you said let's just be friends for the last time yet again-
Just to really kick it in.

I wonder if I could have just said it all to you then
But Alive and well you are
So much more intimidating - especially to date
I know I could say it now
But I think I could only say it knowing now that you are dead