i was up there
on the chair
feeling underground

they said i was the underdog
they meant i was a hound
i was up there on the chair
feeling like a queen overthrown by the silence
but you still told me to dream

i was up there on that chair
thinking of the writing
everyday i was fighting for something i couldn’t do
i was up there on the chair
thinking of you calling us family
but telling me what i couldn’t do.

i was up there on the chair
thinking of my face
every single cut and bruise
now it’s the end of the race

i wish that i could speak, but speech is for the important

i was just there

nothing but a stare

waiting for you to say “i love you”

but i had to choose

i didn't’ want to take all the mental abuse

so on this chair i think of words

big small

or not there at all

everything you should have said

everything you shouldn't have said

when i asked

“if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?”

you said no

but you told me i was as strong as an oak

do you not here my fall?

are you not here at all?

“you wanted me to grow, but lowered my self esteem.

if you wanted me to be fixed

you shouldn’t have pulled me at the seams”

so now i’m up here on this chair, thinking of the words

all the silence

i just wanted to be heard

i

am

the chair

just like it does now

i fall

and yes you would hear a tree in the forest

**it cannot make it’s own fall