I am not a mismatched puzzle waiting to be put back together
There is no point in trying when most of my pieces aren't even there
I am not just some toy
Some mild entertainment that you get to throw aside once you get bored
I am not some science fair project
Some hypothesis in which you decide you want to solve
I can not be solved
I am an equation
A cocktail of antidepressants mixed with the excess of words I have bundled in my head
It is people like you
Who have prompted me to
Put up caution tape inside my heart
And around my body
My body is something I am still learning to love
When you tell me it is good as is
That I am your definition of perfect
That does not make it all better
Does not make me love it any more
Just because you think you can see something I do not
Doesn't mean I want to as well
I do not need to be told that i am beautiful to be okay
I do not want to be told that my scars are beautiful
When they are anything but
My skin has been a battleground too many times to be anything but leftover warfare
Dust and dirt
I do not want to be kissed with love
When these wounds have only shown hatred
It is not romance
It is disaster
I am not blessing
I am unholy mess
I am not a question waiting for your answer
Mental illness is something I never asked for
But I was given it anyway
I do not want you to want to know what its like
To wake up every morning to grey skies
When it is anything but cloudy outside
I do not want you to take any of my baggage
I have had enough practice lifting it with my own two hands
I didnt ask for your help
You can not heal me with touch and words
With roses and sappy ******* love notes
I do not need to be healed
I do not need to be cured
I am not sickness
I am complicated
And this complicated creature
Wants to tell you
That she does not need you
That this crazy *****
Has done just fine
On her own.