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May 2014
The day I left you, I don't remember a whole lot.
I remember anger. Yelling. Crying. I remember feeling my heart being ripped out of my chest. I remember being scared.

The months following that fateful day, I don't remember a whole lot.
I don't remember a lot of eating, because I didn't.
I remember feeling lost.
I remember feeling terrified.
I remember barely being able to discern which was was up and which way was down.
I remember waking up and having to remind myself...
No, that wasn't a dream. Your heart is still broken.
I remember reminding myself to breathe, to get out of bed, to feed your daughter, keep her alive.
I remember feeling like a crazy person.

I remember feeling like the pain was never going to end. Like next week felt like a life time away, and a few months?
Felt like a death sentence.
I was supposed to live "a few months" without him??

I like to remind myself of the pain every once in a while.
I like to remember that it was a mountain that I climbed to get over you.
I like to remember what it was like, so that I make sure I never have to do that again.

You took a part of me. The part of me that believed in true love. The part that believed in "meant to be". The part of me that believed in fairy tales.

You took it.

But I don't want it back.

Today, I'm stronger, so much stronger.
Today, I'm a warrior. A survivor.

The person I am today wouldn't even recognize the weakling that you made me into.

The person I am today loves you, despite all that you've done to me. I love you because you are simply another struggling, hurting human being.
But I love you as nothing more.

You took part of me.
But I put something back in its place that no one can ever take.
Becca
Written by
Becca
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