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May 2014
It's 2AM. I'm outside again. Out for one of my regular night strolls. I don't know where I am. Everything is dark in the dead of the night. I'm broke as usual and I have only two cigarettes left. Not that it would change anything if I had any money. All the shops close after 12 in this city that lives by day and sleeps by night. My phone is almost dead and its cold. But I don't feel the cold over the pain that you are causing me. Its funny how a lie can make you feel so much pain. I don't even know how I got here. Last thing I remember is leaving my house. Then I fell so deep into my thoughts that when I looked around again I was in a place that i've never been before. The only light I see is that of my cigarette and of the occasionally passing cars. I would try to stop them and ask them to take me home. But it wouldn't matter if they did because what society calls home isn't home to me. I really want to go home. I've never been there and I really wonder what its like. It's quite close to me actually. It's inside me. But I just can't find the key to it. I've had many illusions of home before when I was with you. I guess that was just your home. Its 6AM. The shops are opening up. I think i'm catching a cold from staying out for too long. But that doesn't matter because my soul has had a cold ever since you left. I think it's always been there but you just made me realize it. And ever since i've been looking for a cure. The best cure I have found so far is time. It's 10AM. I'm still aimlessly wandering around. I'm supposed to be in class but it doesn't matter. Its 1PM. I look around me. I'm in a car. The driver asks me where I live. I tell him I don't live. He gives me a confused look. He tells me he found me passed out on the side of the street. I tell him I need to get to class. He asks me where my school is and I tell him. When I get there I thank him and tell him I have no cash to give him. He says he is doing this to satisfy his guilt, not for cash. It's people like these that make me happy. To know that people like these still exist gives me hope. It's 8PM. I'm in my room lying down. You pop into my thoughts again. I go to sleep. It's 1AM. I just woke up from a nightmare where you were chasing me. I decide to go for another walk.
Monkey
Written by
Monkey  Istanbul
(Istanbul)   
314
   MoVitaLuna and ---
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