How does she do it?
What has she got that I do not possess?
How can she win the heart of any man
With a casual, undignified glance.

And why do I long and yearn for him,
With such fiery anguish and reckless disillusionment?
I have done so for such a long time,
Why didn't this silly childhood crush
disintegrate along with mine?

It is a difficult thing to love the one you envy the most.
But it is even harder to hate someone
Who shows you nothing but kindness,
Someone who does not mean any harm
But simply inflicts it unknowingly.

How can you ask them to stop the pain,
When it's source is their romantic gain.
If it wasn't her it would be somebody else,
And if not them, another.
I see no end to this unraveling string of misery.

The disease of jealousy is the most bitter
And grotesque of illnesses.
Once attained it is extremely difficult
If not impossible to cure.
It is for this reason, that I worry profoundly.
For I have let this sickness go untreated for an eternity now,
Allowing it to soar through my bloodstream,and enter all vital organs,


even my poor, fragile heart.