Do you remember that year
I couldn't sleep?
I ran into your bedroom
Almost every night
Crying
Making up some excuse

Some nights you would
Send me back to bed
Disgusted
I was too old to be bothering you
But other nights
You would pull me right in the middle
And both of you would wrap your arms around my trembling frame
And finally
I would fall asleep
Next to you
I was safe
The images couldn't touch me
The probe that normally tormented me
Couldn't penetrate my mind
I was secure in your embrace

And then they disappeared
For good
These images
They left
And I slept
Peacefully

But now
They have returned

You said you wanted
Details
So I gave you
All I could

It wasn't much
But it was enough
I thought I could handle it
But I couldn't
I can't

Now I am back to being afraid,
Afraid of closing my eyes
For who knows
What will meet me in this dark?

When I said I couldn't say anymore
I meant it

But when I said
I wanted to protect you

I wasn't telling the whole truth

For with each memory
Bypassed
I was also protecting
Me